Out with the old and in with the new! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! 2012 is right around the corner. Some of you are just hours away from  the count down and others are a little than 12 hours away. So what do you hope for in the new year? There has been so much I have been thinking about, so much that I know that will help me have a happy and successful year ahead. So many times we make our resolutions always with the best of intentions of following them through, only to be distracted by the up hill battles that seem to come along our path. Why do we always let those things push us back down? I know for me it's been a big problem. Its time that I push through any troubles I may face and make my dreams a reality. It's never too late!

I have noticed also with people, as well as myself that part of the problem is we bring our worries and our past with us, why is that? The past should stay as just that, the past. We are suppose to learn lessons from our failures, or things that no longer exist and use what was learned to succeed. Life goes by so fast that before you know it, you are looking back with regrets. I have witnessed this in my life and with others. The things that I let pass me by, but instead of learning from it I somehow seem to hold on to it. If you did not succeed at something, take the lesson and move on. If a relationship failed, take the lesson and move on. If a friendship did not last, take the lesson and move on. Sometimes we look back at our past and long for the good times, but bringing the past into the future is nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. You can't go to an old job that made you miserable and expect it to be different. You can not revive some old friendships and expect them to fit and you definitely can not bring an old relationship into your future. I have seen people fail because of it, and it makes me wonder do they ever learn from their past mistakes really?

I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, 10 years ago or even 20 years ago. I have been thinking about this a lot and noticed I have found myself saying I am still the same, but I am not at all, I am better. I am better for not staying where I lived 20 years ago, although the road has been long and littered with disappointment in many places, it has also had some great things. My Children being the best of it all, I love them and without them I am not sure where I would be. Having my kids at an early age, I am so thankful because if I hadn't I most likely would not have had children or not had children like they are.

I am thankful that I have gotten in contact with some old friends, but there are some that just don't need to be in my life.Some sadly enough I have had to cut contact with, not because I think I am too good, but they decided to hold onto the past, drama and things that I have said I would not bring into my future. Some people would look down on me for this, however this is my life and I am going nowhere but forward so I am no longer letting nothing or no one hold me back. Call me a snob if you will, but just because others want to thrive in drama, self pity and not make their life the best they can is not my problem to deal with, but I wish them the best. Lesson learned and go forward.

2012 is going to be about making my dreams come true. One of them is to have my own business, but until I have achieved that goal, I will work and concentrate on my goals ahead. I will have my own photography business and also hopefully be helping our indie film company under way. I love Scifi and Horror movies. I think it keeps your brain moving and your heart pumping. Romantic movies are silly, often make you sad and don't do anything for you, so stick with what is better right?We have some amazing stories to tell and with help of friends and family they will become a reality so watch for it in the future. Unrealistic? I don't think so, if Kevin Smith and Robert Rodriguez can do it, why not us?

I will try to leave my hurt and disappointment behind for this coming year. I will work hard and if I get knocked down I will get back up. I will concentrate more on the positive and leave the negative behind. My choices need to be for what I need to do to succeed and not what others think I need to do to succeed. I don't need to have tons of people behind me to support. I have a few friends that I hold close to my heart, everyone else I wish the best of luck. I do not see my new outlook as something bad, I see it as a way to find my success. The things that stress me out now will be out behind me, and with moving early in the new year, I will be healthier, I will lose the weight I need to lose and I will find my success. If people do not support me or can be happy for me then that is not my problem. Those things will all be a part of my past. I will learn and move on.



Love to all,

Janet

Merry Christmas!

Its Christmas eve and I know the people who know me best, know that Christmas time is my favorite time of year. For me the holidays has nothing to do with gifts, it's the excitement of the holidays, the smells from the baking and the decorations.Every year it all brings back the memories of when I was younger.

I always remember we had a huge tree, maybe it looked big because I was so small but I was always amazed by the size of the tree. Decorating the tree then turning on the lights was absolutely breath taking. There are so many Christmas holidays that I cherish, but there is one that always will stand out in my mind.

I believe I was almost 4 years old and my grandparents and 2 of my uncles spent Christmas at our house. My sister was just a few months old. The tree was decorated, my most loved family was with me and I couldn't ask for a better day. Making cookies and decorating ( and sneaking a few when backs were turned ) watching my favorite Christmas cartoons and the excitement that Santa would soon come by my house....But wait! We do not have a chimney, how in the world is Santa going to get in the house? It cracks me up to think of this, because what 4 year old thinks of these things? Obviously I did. I don't remember the exact details but I do remember I was completely stressed about it. Santa would not get his cookies, or see my note, how could this be happening?

I know my mother and step dad and grandparents were trying to assure me that Santa knew where to come and with all this magic would find a way to our tree. I was sleeping on the couch that night, as all little ones thoughts, they would sneak a little peek of Santa placing the gifts. I wanted more than anything to give Santa a big hug and say thank him for all the wonderful toys he always brought. Still not able to calm my grandmother told me I better go to sleep because Santa wont come if little kids do not listen and go to sleep.

Laying on the couch and really trying to go to sleep, the thoughts kept swirling through my head and although my eyes were closed I just could not go to sleep. All of the sudden I hear the sound of sleigh bells and I sat up and looked at everyone. I think my eyes almost popped out of my head and I said " Its Santa!". I wanted to jump off the couch and run to the door but I stayed right where I was. My grandfather came over and tucked me in and told me to go to sleep and when I wake up it will be Christmas. The excitement from hearing those sleigh bells knocked me right out and wouldn't you know, when I woke up, the cookies were eaten, the presents were under the tree and spread across the living room and I was one happy kid!

I later learned years after that it was my step grandfather outside on the porch with the sleigh bells. I smile when I think about that night knowing that he really did love me enough to help in that way. He passed away years ago, but is always in my heart. I don't remember not one present I got that Christmas, because that was not important. Years later, when I had my kids, it was always fun to do the same things that we had done when I was little. A trip to the tree farm, bring out the decorations, baking cookies, listening to Christmas music and snuggled up on the couch  with my babies in their pajamas watching our favorite holiday classics.

My kids are all almost grown now, but I hope that I was able to make their Christmas memories as special as the ones that I had when I was little. So now with Christmas day just hours away, just remember that the gifts will not last forever, its the memories we make. Decorations, the smells, the music, the classics and being with the ones you love.


Although I can not be with all of my family and friends this Christmas, I know that they are in my heart and I love them very much. Merry Christmas to everyone, I love you all!

Great advice!

Years ago I remember hearing this on the radio and it has stuck with me ever since. This was an Essay written by Mary Schmich and published by the Chicago Tribune June 1st 1997. Baz Luhrmann put the words with music in 1998 and it was played all the time. All I can say is I agree 100%

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)

Mary Schmich Chicago Tribune

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. I couldn't have said it better myself!

What's next? A look back and my views.

For far too long I have really put myself on the back burner for a lot of things. The one thing I will never regret doing it for is my children. I put off so many things but I wanted to make sure that I was there for them and that they had what they needed. Now my children are grown, so now I need to do something for myself!

Its a little scary because I am so use to taking care of them or everyone else and sometimes taking care of  others felt as if it was in vain. I have never been one to ask to be recognized for anything I do but its a common courtesy for someone to say "Thank You", which never really happens too much since I left West Virginia and moved North East. I think that after years of constantly doing for others, supporting others and whatever else, I started to become bitter about the way things went. I even started to question myself and wonder if it was just me and I have been assured by many that have known me for so many years, that there is nothing wrong with me and I should be a bit selfish. Selfish? hmmmm yeah, I can't do that really, Why? It's because I was not raised that way.

I can't say it was everyone that took advantage of my kindness, but there are a few people and they know who they are. Am I going to hold onto that grudge? Nope...I am working on a whole new me and I am going to let it go. It's a process because there have been people who I really trusted, or employers that I gave 110% to that just don't care or didn't care. In 2012 I am going to do what's best for me and screw the people who never believed in me. I think it took me almost 38 years to get to this point. Some people say I could have done this and that but with small children there are just sometimes you really can't. Family helped when they could and I couldn't trust daycare. I am thankful that I had my sister to help me out through those bad years, so very thankful, but she was trying to do the same as me, to live, so I waited.

I am glad I waited, because it has all been ONE HELL of a lesson and a long road to discovering me. I know that sometimes it's ok to walk away from situations and places that are not healthy. My marriage was my first part of discovery. I was a great wife and I did what I was suppose to. It was not my fault that my ex- husband cheated and was abusive. I felt guilty at first for walking away at first, but it was not my fault that he could not be faithful and that I was not enough for him, it was not my fault that he couldn't be truthful and it was not my fault for the abuse.You can't blame yourself for a relationship that just will not work and your the only one that see's it or can even be honest about it.

I have made mistakes along this road of discovery, but if you don't make mistakes, you can not learn or grow. So in that I have to forgive myself for either doing or not doing. I know I have to move past fear, and I know that I can not please everyone. I can do the best job that I can do and work hard towards what I believe in and if someone doesn't believe in me, well screw them! Why do I care what they think or feel. I am who I am and I am a pretty damn good person. My mom may not be perfect and we have our differences, but I know I am a lot like her in the way of not wanting to give up, working hard to show people what you are made of and what I can do. In that mom, I thank you. I know it wasn't easy raising us alone, but none of us are in jail or dead so you did well.

NYC has been another long part of my journey and I gave it my all. I also learned that behind all the bright lights and glamor, there is a ton of disappointment and a lot of people who will go out of their way to make you feel like you are worthless. I almost lost myself here but I found I was following the wrong path. I believe  most of my frustration stemmed from being told or made to feel that like your just not good enough. Not every experience was bad, but within the bad, I looked back and found the lesson and I can move on.  I am leaving NYC in the next few months, and I am looking forward to my oldest daughters graduation. I am so proud of her but worry as she is so much like me and wants to see the good in everyone. I also know she is very strong and will come to me for advise and guidance.
 
I learned that although you believe in yourself and in things so strongly, not everyone will have the same views. I can not do anything to make someone see my vision or point of view. In those cases where your up against a wall that won't come down, it's to drop your hammer and walk away because there is no need to tear down yourself in the process. So what's next? What will I do for me? The best part of it is, I can do anything I put my mind to, I just have to travel a different path and have patience, love myself and believe I know I can do it. I am smart, I am beautiful in my own and way and I really don't give a damn about those people, the ones I know to look out for now. The people who refuse to see my potential, the people who say they are friends but are out to screw you over every way they can. It's not too late for me to be successful. What about those walls that I may come against in the future that wont come down? Do what any other true southern girl would go, kick it in to 4 wheel drive and go right over it.

That is me, that is who I am!

A little advice

We all do the best we can in life, and sometimes it takes a few lessons before we really see the big picture. I know like many people out there will say the same and agree, I am not perfect! I come from a long line of stubbornness, also known as the " Sonny Wilson". If you know my grandfather then you will understand!

My grandfather will be the first to tell you. He has had his share of stuff, but he never hurt anyone on purpose. Life is a game of forgive, forget and learn. If you can't love yourself and forgive yourself then you cant move on in life. I know this because I am going through it too. I believe it took me almost 37 years to learn the most important things in life, or to really understand them.

Learn from the past but don't carry it with you! Take the lesson but not the thing you learned from. Communicate! If you can not communicate with people, nothing you do will be successful. Knock down walls where you see them, but don't waste time on the ones that wont come down, sometimes it's ok to walk away from something that's not healthy. In the long run, when you learn this, you will be happier and healthier. This can fit into anything, just be cautious and think things through. If you have to write a list with the pro's and con's about whatever it is. If there are more bad than good, well use your noodle and do the obvious captain!

Love yourself first! How important is this and it has taken me so very long to learn this one, but, I am still learning from it. You know your value and if you don't look in the mirror, love starts right there. You can't be angry and hostile your entire life. Just because someone did you wrong or people have done you wrong doesn't mean that everyone in life will do the same. Not everyone has the same outlook and will treat you badly. When you learn to love yourself this will become clearer. Just use good judgement.

When your young you think you have all the answers and then after you hit 30 they start appearing to you and you will stop and say " WOW, I really didn't know anything before did I? "

If you hate your career, and your not happy with it, look for something else, go back to school. Look for something that you can say, I love what I do. For some this could be opening your own business or just simply looking for a company that you fit with. Don't stay where you are not appreciated.

 I have a few really close friends that have been dealing with relationship issues. Some can be worked out, some cant and its better to move on. I can tell you this with what I have dealt with especially with my ex husband, You can only try so hard, and like I mentioned before, if you are the only one that is working to breaking down that wall, its not worth it to keep at it. Its ok to walk away. Your pride might get bruised but those heal! Sometimes there are people that just don't give a damn that they are hurt you and they don't see that maybe they should apologize. They always want to complain but never listen, take but never give. ( This doesn't mean material things, it also has to do with love ). You are better off without this and that's when you need to learn to love yourself. Once you do that, then do NOT go look for love. Be patient and have faith, it will come find you!

Family. We all need them and sometimes family isn't the easiest to deal with. But life is just too short and we need to cherish those we have. Sometimes people do things that are just evil and cruel and they know what they are doing, those are the ones that its ok to not deal with anymore, because no matter how many times you try to express how hurt you are they still don't see it and they don't care. Sometimes we aren't perfect and we all do things, but sometimes we just need to let go. This one for me I have to work on daily.Some people do change, you just have to open your eyes but let them know that because you have been hurt its hard to let them back in completely but you will try. We all have to have patience and understanding....but in the end we have to find it in ourselves to let the hurt go.

And to my children, Don't be in a Rush to grow up! Thank you for not making the same mistakes that I made, and Thank you for not making me a grandma yet lol. I know  when you get to that age you just want to go out and conquer the world but sometimes we have to slow down a little. The world isn't the same one now that I grew up in. Be mindful, and look before you leap. Don't be so in a rush to fall in love, heart breaks will come, but momma will be right there to hug you and wipe your tears. Don't ever be afraid to come to me about ANYTHING, even if you think I might get angry. I might be upset or disappointed but I will not stay that way. I have loved you  your entire existence and I will never stop! Live life, learn and don't ever stop! Your going to make mistakes but learn from them and don't make them again! And never ever forget I love you!

These are my thoughts and if you don't agree with it or think its stupid, well stop reading my blog and go look in the mirror. You are NOT the picture of perfection, like my friends from the UK would say, Sod off!

Wanting better for our children

Every parent says basically the same thing once their children are born, " I want the best, or better for my children". Not that we all had such terrible lives that we vow that they will not go through what we experienced, perhaps it was just something that happened growing up that prompts you to say it wont happen to your kid. I know sitting here and looking back on my life, I know I said the very same thing.

I was born in West Virginia and lived in the mountains. Much of what I know I learned from watching my family. We had gardens, we lived in the country. The men and sometimes the women hunted. We canned our crops, we washed our clothes in a ringer washer and hung them out to dry. Some people my read this and say, " My god, who would want to live that way?". I had no problem with the way I was raised in WV. We were always fed, always had clothes even if Grandma or Mom made them. Would I change a thing? NEVER! So what would I change about how I grew up and why would I want it different for my kids? Well, kids got a bit mean when I got a little older. Thank goodness I had great friends who were beyond the petty crap.

I have never made my children clothing, but I know if I had when they were in middle and high school they would have worn them with pride, just as I had. I wore them with pride regardless of what nasty comments were made about me. I lived in a nicer home when I was in middle school than most of my friends or even a lot of kids I knew lived in. Did that matter to me? Of course not, but for some reason, there were a few kids that made fun of me. Why? Who knows, and it hurt like hell. I have never been one for confrontation unless  you push me, then once you push me past that point watch out! I know I was not a bad person, and I was never in any trouble, but kids will be kids I guess. Only thing is now they have guns and knives. Kids of today are cowards. I didn't raise my kids to be like that. I taught them the same as I was, someone could be worse off, be thankful for what you have, and don't make fun of those less fortunate.

The same thing happened in high school, but it was pretty much the same few people. The school was bigger so I saw them less. But I found myself vowing my children would not go through the same thing. It wasn't just the clothes, it was that I didn't wear this or that, I didn't have straight teeth, my boobs weren't as big as other girls, or I wasn't as pretty. I tried to not let that bother me, but when your 15 and your first boyfriend dumps you for another girl first week of school because he thinks she is prettier? OUCH! But I moved on and I learned another lesson to teach my kids, NEVER DATE SOMEONE FOR LOOKS! That's right! They might be visually appealing on the outside, but inside they are a nasty mess!

My son I don't think needed to worry about that one, but my girls, because they are girls and girls hearts can get trampled, I tried to always tell them that. Don't listen to the lies that boys will tell you. You come  first, and then your school work. School is not for social gatherings, go there to learn and along the way make friends. Don't be in a hurry to grow up, life will be there, don't be in a rush to get to it. Don't listen to stupid things people say to be hurtful. Don't be a follower and be proud of who you are!

My kids are all almost grown, Yes I had them very early and that's one thing I am thankful they did not repeat. I believe my children have taken notice to how hard it is to be a parent and are in no rush to get there, THANK GOODNESS!  I am older now and those things don't matter anymore to me that happened. We all grew up and became better people. Some didn't but hey, that's on them and no one is perfect. I am no where near perfect, but I had that common sense to teach my kids what to look for. I am proud of the individuals who they have become. I can be at ease knowing that my words did sink in some and they valued what I had to say.

I raised my children without their father and I think I did a good enough job. In times that we have now, and how the economy is, I taught them to be smart about things, and now that my oldest daughter is looking for work and starting her senior year in high school, she understands a little better and appreciates things. I know that in years from now, when she has her own family, she can pass it on and I can smile.

I say this in taking note on how some kids today act, and worry that our future generation was not or is not being raised with those lessons or values. Lets not forget that these are the same people we need to depend on when we are older. Lets teach them that they need to work for what they get, rewards are not and should not be handed to you unless they are earned. Teach them to give back, either by service or paying it forward. Do something that might help someone, you never know what that kindness can do for that one person.

Not invited? NYC officials turn their backs on first responders.

The events of September 11th 2001 are something that will never be forgotten by anyone. That morning at 8:46 Hijacked American Airlines flight 11 bound for Los Angeles, hit the north tower of the World Trade center, at 8:46 am our lives were all changed. No matter where we were, what we were doing, we all felt the impact and the sadness of that day. On the morning of September 11th 2001, the first responders of NYC did what they have done their entire careers, they responded to a call!

9:03 am United Airlines flight 175 bound for Los Angeles hit the south tower of the World Trade center, now we know its an attack and New York City and our country is in a panic, yet the first responders, without a doubt had already sprung into action here in the city, racing into buildings, carrying out the wounded, assisting those who were trying to escape and attempting to rescue anyone else they possibly could. Their lives being at risk not the main priority, still pushing forward to do what they had vowed, to protect and to serve. They didn't show up by invite, they were just there.

Two hijacked flights hit NYC that day, American Airlines flight number 77 hit the Pentagon at 9:38 and a final hijacked United Airlines flight 93 , which was over taken by the brave passengers who gave their lives to not allow another hit happen that morning crashed into a field at 10:10 ending the terror from the skies that morning.

We have never forgotten the events, and we have not forgotten those that risked their lives, that gave their lives doing what they were trained to do. We honor these brave ones every year and mourn the lives that  were taken that morning, however this year NYC officials decided that those first responders who survived, who were wounded that day are not invited to the 10th Anniversary of the attacks. I was not here on that morning as I did not yet live here until 2004, but I was still affect by those events as were so many other Americans. As a loved one of a NYC Detective  who served in the recovery efforts of those who died, I am disgusted and angered by the moronic decision of the NYC officials for the obvious slap in the face to the first responders. What in the HELL are you thinking?

Those men and women didn't come by invite, to risk their lives, to lose their lives. They didn't sit around and wait for someone to tell them to go, they just did it. Why? Because that is why they became who they are, who they were! I am angered beyond words by something that is so heartless. New York Daily News reported that a city official stated that there is no room, that security issues are involved and that the first responders will be given a ceremony at a later date. WHAT? Again, these men and women who gave their lives, who risked being wounded or killed did not give a second thought! Security issues? I'm sorry, I would not say that thousands of men and women who are paid officers to carry fire arms daily would be an issue, I say that would be an asset.

So there you have it, a city who is turning their backs on the bravest of 9/11. NYC has again delivered a blow to the gut of these people who live with the images from that day. These men and women are affected beyond what any of us could ever begin to understand. They lost hundreds of their co-workers, they lost loved ones and they still carried on. These people continue to do their jobs, to keep us safe, to save our lives, and they don't even get hazard pay. Yet a garbage man who risks nothing but maybe a strained muscle or coming face to face with a dog sized rat, does.

I can say that when we leave NYC, we will not be sorry. This city has done nothing but continue to see what and how they can take away from those who were there, who pushed on selfless, to protect the city they use to love.

On September 11th 2011, the 10th Anniversary of the Terror attacks, when you are remembering those who have died also remember those who continue to serve. NYC  officials have seemed to forgotten.

You are in control of you..

This can not be more true! You are the pilot of your destiny. I think I really needed to see that after the experiences I have been having at work. You cant wait for someone or something to make you happy, to make things happen. I remember the days that I would not settle for NO! I would take that and find another way to accomplish what I needed to do.

So where did that person go? I would say that I started to lose who I was right after my divorce. Was I sad? OH HELL NO! When my divorce was final I walked out of the court house with the biggest smile and the song that was playing from a car passing by was " I'm Free" by Jon Secada. I think that was just a coincidence but.....it was fitting for the moment. After that I left and it just seemed that I got wrapped up in what everyone else said I should do or what I should be.  But I am me, I was never this stressed or bothered about things before.My feelings about things were, Yeah OK, and? So that's what I need to do now.

I know I can do whatever I want and what I put my mind to, so whats next? Well I am getting back into writing and I want to do what I always dreamed of, write a screenplay! I love science fiction! In the 5th grade, my favorite show was "V" , when I was little, I loved the movie "Close encounters of the third kind" and now I can act on those dreams.

I don't care if someone thinks its a stupid idea, sit back and say, Yeah OK whatever. I know what I can do, and I have had experience writing. I have won awards and contests. I have wrote plays for church. If Robert Rodriguez can do it, why cant I?

This is what makes me happy! I am a part of a team, someone who believes in my ideas and even though sometimes an idea may be off, it always leads to something we both can agree on! This is going to happen! This movie will be made. When it comes together and it will,I will feel complete! Thank you for believing in me and inspiring me. Without your dream, my dreams would still be asleep.

My little Girl

My daughters will always be mommas little girls, no matter how old they are. My daughter Tiffany was my first daughter but my second child. She had a rough start getting into the world, with the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, labor was not easy at all and I was scared to death I would lose her. She bounced back very quick, strong and determined just like she is today.

Tiffany turned 18 on March 9th of this year. I cant believe how fast the time has flown by since I held her in my arms, her beautiful grey eyes beaming back at me with her chubby little cheeks. Now she is a Senior in high school and starts school in 2 weeks. She is going south to start her last year with my sister. I think she is the one child out of the 3 that looks the most like me. She is very talented and loves to draw. She had recently been working with one of her teachers doing illustrations for a story her teacher made up and just last week finished working on the 2nd book. I couldn't be more proud of her. I know if she kept it up she could really make something of it.

She has such a pleasing personality and is very sensitive with some things, but at the same time extremely strong. Saturday she will be leaving and it makes me kind of sad, but I wont be away from her for long and in June she will be graduating. She isn't the tiny little chubby cheeked blonde baby anymore, she is a beautiful young woman, nervous about going out into the world as an adult, but excited to discover things for herself. I have tried the best I can to teach her about the world and she knows that she can come to me with whatever at any time and I will always be there. I feel like I am letting go of the tiny little hand that use to hold onto mine and watching a young woman grow even faster before my eyes. I love all of my children, but  Tiffany is on my mind the most tonight! I love you Tiffany Marie!



Love always,

Momma

My Grandfather is my Superman.

My grandfather in my eyes is Superman. He isn't perfect, but he has always there and taught me many lessons through  the years. Right now he is very ill and very weak which breaks my heart in a million pieces. He is my Superman, my Hero. I talked to my mother today and she updated me on how he is and things are very serious right now. He needs a pacemaker and some work on his kidneys and the arteries in his neck. I am not use to my grandfather, Charles E. Wilson Sr, being so weak and sick.


I remember my grandfather when I was little, how he always found a lesson in every thing to teach me, no matter what it was, and everywhere he went I followed. He has always been very stern, and at the same time was very loving. If he spanked me, you could see in his eyes it was breaking his heart. He would explain why he was doing it and that he loved me very much, but what I did was wrong.

Me, my grandparents and uncles 1974

When my sister was born it was a very tough time for my grandparents, my uncle Terry had just been killed in a car accident just a few months before. They had moved into a new home and were still numb from shock. My grandfather did what he could to care for us all, with his heart still breaking he carried on and remained strong. 


One day, he went out to chop wood for the fireplace. I think it was either late November or early December because there was a little snow on the ground. He headed out with his ax to go down the road little to find a tree that was good to cut up for firewood. As he was walking out the door, I screamed " papa wait for me!", running to get my socks and boots on. I grabbed my little wagon and ran down the drive way to catch up. At the end of the drive way we walked up the hill a little and found a downed tree that was good to chop. While he split the wood, he told me to stand back so I wouldn't get hit by the flying chips, so I sat in my wagon and watched him swing away. I happened to look down and there at my feet was a tiny little turtle, frozen. I screamed because I didn't want it to be dead, so I grabbed the turtle, tucked it in my pocket and told him I would be right back.


I ran into the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking and she asked what I was doing, I told her I needed warm water. There was a little sink by the back door where she put warm water in for me and walked back to tend to breakfast. I placed the little turtle in the water and swished it around, trying to make it move. My grandma finally came over to see what I was doing when she heard me cry. She said, " Janet Lee, what in the world are you doing, throw that thing outside". I told my grandma that it was frozen and I was trying to make it warm. She told me there was nothing I could do, just take it out or maybe bury it and wrapped it in a little cloth for me. My grandma hated for insects, lizards or anything else in that nature to be inside of the house, but she understood.


I walked back to where my grandpa was crying, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get the turtle to breathe. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him, unwrapping the lifeless turtle and holding it in my little hands. I asked him if we could bury him so the animals would not eat him. He dug a small hole and we placed him in the cloth and covered him . Later when we were back at the house, I was still very weepy. I crawled into his lap and put my arms around his neck. He explained that in life, all things would eventually die, even if they were young. I remember tears being in his eyes while he talked, but at the time I didn't understand that he also meant my uncle. I sat in his lap and he held me there, telling me that the turtle knew that I loved it and not to worry. I fell asleep in my grandfathers arms, feeling safe as always and very loved.

My grandfather has always been a very hard working man, always taking care of his family. He is like a father to me, in every thing he did and the lessons that he taught. Now my grandfather is getting older and he isn't as strong. We never had a ton of money and but what we had he always hard for. I thank God for that man because he is part of he reason I am who I am today. He taught us that life is what you make it, but work hard and be happy with what you are given because life is too short. 


I don't plan on seeing anything happen to him anytime soon. He is stubborn and wont give up that easy and that is one of the things I really admire about him.


Grandpa, you mean the world to me, you have me more in life lessons than all the money in the world, and for that I feel like the richest person alive. I love you more than I can ever put into words.

My grandparents before they were married

On the road to a new and improved me!

So yesterday I started a appetite control medication my Dr prescribed after me asking for it. Why would I take it when there are so many ways of losing weight and not needing medication? Well its simple, STRESS! Yes, that's right people, plain and simple, stress defeats me when it comes to losing weight.

Everyone is different and sometimes we just need a little boost to achieve our goals. I had zero energy, no desire to do anything and I was tired all the time. People might say its depression, but I don't think so. I get frustrated when I am trying to work hard towards something and no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, being told that no I cant, I did the one thing I could do, eat.

I did do the Fat Loss for Idiots and I lost about 20 lbs, but I had a hard time getting over that slump. I think that when you have a larger goal than others when it comes to this subject, that is just something that is not the best to start with, maybe later after you get over that hump, but not just yet. Yesterday I took my first dose, and I completely understand why she told me NO COFFEE! WOW!!!!! There is no need for caffeine at all, this gives you a kick in the ass to get you going and makes you feel fantastic! Not only do I have more energy and feel hungry less, but I feel happier and finally want to focus on things that I had not been able to previously.

I know I have a long way to go, but I believe for myself I chose the right path to helping me achieve my weight loss goal. I know that once I can get past that hump I wasn't able to before, my confidence and will power will return, the stress will go down and I can look at things or people that stand in my way, and either conquer them or give them the finger basically and move on.

Like it or not, I am changing and for the good, so watch out world, I have goals to achieve!

My personal battle: Fear

Fear:
–noun

1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

 

So you might ask what I have to be afraid of, right? This is very hard for me, to write it out, to put it all out there. I have battled through a lot of things in my life, too many to count but why be afraid? And what is it I am afraid of? Its a good question, and I deal with this at different times in my life. Sometimes I can just brush it off as a silly worry, other times I doubt if I will make it through whatever I am dealing with. 

The only thing I can say that could be a reason is that I am afraid of losing whatever is going well for me. Before I have  fought hard to get to accomplish something, feel good about it only to have it ripped away from me to feel helpless. This has happened over and over to a point that now, although things are going well, I still am afraid .

Its frustrating to feel this, I don't like it at all. I have always tried to be strong, and I have remained strong through some of the toughest things in my life, yet right now, I don't have anything to worry about. I have a lot to look forward to coming up, finally having a home that I own, a potential to start my own business and finally have control over when I want to go on vacation and not have to listen to others.

But here it is, poking at me, making me wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. Well its just something I need to deal with, I am a strong and loving person. I don't take no for an answer, I just look for another way to get to my goal. I need to try and stick to one thing at a time. There is so much I missed out on at times in my life that now I have the potential to accomplish, I want to do it all at once, because lets face it I am not getting any younger.

So here I go battling on, forcing my confidence to the front, because I will not let my fear win. Its just a slow process and I have to ask those close to me to be patient, because I know it will all be okay and I will get through this.

 

 

 

 

Ding dong Osamas dead! A warning to his network. You will go down!

A date that will never be forgotten, May 1st 2011. A day in history books that will carry on for generations. The beast who started an organization in 1988 met his end on May 1st 2011. Osama Bin Laden ordered the attack on the USA on September 11th 2001 that left our country in shock, panic, and sadness. He took away families and destroyed lives, and even put a dent in our economy. There is one thing he forgot about. This is the USA, we get knocked down but we stand back up and fight, guess he didn't know about Pearl Harbor?

We have one hell of a strong military, we have the determination to rebuild and stand together and we have a temper! Our military has hunted him down and its been an extremely long fight. Our soldiers lost their lives in the hunt, were injured in battles but carried on their mission, find Osama and end his life. They fought along other soldiers from other countries with the same mission, keep this from happening again and keep our families safe!


All I can think is that he must have been way too cocky to think he would never be found. We didn't drop an atomic bomb on him, but he got what he had coming, a bullet to the brain. That bullet that killed him , shot by one brave Navy Seal's weapon from a group of courageous Navy seals carried the names of those who died in NYC, Washington D.C. and that field  in PA. It carried the will of the families who lost their loved ones, the Police, EMS, Transit Authority officers and Fire fighters who worked together to find the remains of those lives that were lost. It carried the determination of our nation to find him and to destroy what he built.

On May 1st 2011, a great thing happened, the beast was taken out but we aren't done. That's right, our military will not sleep until his entire network in just a bad memory. So to those who plan to carry out his mission take note, the world is still looking for you, we stand together and we will wipe you out!


To those who died on September 11th 2001, may you Rest In Peace!

Goodbye to a real Hollywood Legend!

Yesterday we lost a true Hollywood great, Elizabeth Taylor. With her passing, it makes me think how those classic days are really fading fast, and all we will have left is the memories. Elizabeth Taylor, even with her faults, had style, grace, class and beauty. Today’s Hollywood cannot hold a candle to what use to be.

I am only 37, but I fell in love with those old days when I was a little girl. Watching the classics on TV and wanting to be like Elizabeth Taylor or Ingrid Bergman. Watching the Oscars was a special thing and what an event for the whole family to enjoy. Those days are long gone and I do not believe we will ever have a time like that ever again.

Our Hollywood today is filled with many talentless who do not have an idea of what class is and think that drinking yourself silly or acting like a total ass is entertainment. Sadly, there are few movies that I own that I can call favorites from our generation. 

In my opinion, I would love to have Old Hollywood back, not the drama filled, look at me types we have today. There is no more glamor or grace on the silver screen any longer, instead we get stuck with those like Lindsey Lohan. Where are those actors and actresses like Judy Garland, Humphrey Bogart,and Ingrid Bergman. Who would be the next Elizabeth Taylor? No one will ever be able to fill her shoes in my eyes. RIP Ms. Taylor. You were a beautiful soul, even with your own problems, you touched so many with your movies and your absolute passion to help. Your work for AIDS research will go on through others and you will shine for all time in your movies like you shine now like a star in the sky.

A letter to my father....

For 37 Years, I have tried to come up with the exact words I want to say, well not exactly 37 but for a very long time. I cant say I am angry any longer, because what good does that do to be upset with someone who doesn't care. I have always been better with writing my thoughts and feelings, but when it comes to you, I am clueless. All I can say is that it has all been your choice.

 I can not say what happened with you and my mom but it was your choice to try your best to be there for me and you chose not to. For years I was angry at my mother because I thought it was her that made you stay away, but it wasn't. Although she and I have clashed over the years and she has not been the poster child for mother of the year, she raised me without you and with that being said, now here is what I have to say to you.

 I felt like I had missed out on so much, but its you that missed out. You missed out on being called daddy, and all the Christmas days and Birthdays. You missed out on me going through my tomboy phase, mud pies and finger paintings. You weren't there to give my first boyfriend a talk or to comfort me when I got my heart broken for the very first time. You missed so many things, that were so important to me, like your grandchildren being born, or anything else I have accomplished in my life.  I have learned so many hard lessons in life and all without you there, so what does it all mean?

It means I have become the woman I am today without you ever being by my side. I am creative and thoughtful, I have a temper at times, but I am fast to forgive.  See I appreciate the little things in life and know life is too short to be angry at those who deserve it. I let go of my anger a long time ago, but this all  has went unsaid for many years. I have tried to make a relationship with you as an adult, but you do the same thing that you have always done, run away from me. I now know its not any of my doing, because I didn't ask for you to bring me into this world, and things happen for a reason. So I don't owe anything but my thoughts, and its all for me, because I have sat down and wrote this letter many times, to just throw it away. You may never know these words, and that's ok, because it has all came out, through the tips of my fingers.

Out of the mouths of babes......

The other day my 15 yr old daughter made a decision, without any input from me at all. She said she was deleting her Facebook page because she spends too much time on it and she needed to put more attention towards her school work. Imagine that, not a bit of persuasion from mother or any other adult, she came to this decision all on her own! I couldn't be more proud of my daughter, who is becoming a beautiful young woman all too fast.

This isn't a bad idea, or even cutting back on it. I know that I got wrapped up in Facebook and the games that you can play, or catching up on people from my past and present. I put down my camera, forgot almost about my photography or other things that use to be so important. So what if we all do what my daughter is doing? If a child can do it why cant we? I think we all need to remember that there is a life outside of Facebook. Go back to reading books, or learn something new, there are many free lessons online that you can participate in, or take a nice long walk, curl up and watch a  movie, or take up a hobby such as knitting, or cake decorating.

Does it mean that I will give it up for good? Who knows, but I do know that since I have cut back, I have found so much more time to do the things I said I no longer had time for. I have gone back to using Twitter which is not as time consuming but allows me to keep in touch with my awesome friends. If you step back and take a look you will see what I mean. I believe we all are so obsessed with technology that we forget about our lives and our families. We need to introduce the passion for learning to our children, since its something that's missing from schools today. Let's not let them rot away to reality TV and video games. Maybe then our future generations wont be in trouble. Maybe our kids will go back to being happy with being themselves, and not so worried about growing up so fast. Just maybe they will learn to not take life for granted. All it takes is just one to plant the seed......

My last year in NY...

 So I am counting down the days till I leave this big city. Its been one hell of a ride I have to say. Although its not my top choice of places to live, I have learned a lot, about life and about me. Now that I will be parting ways with NYC, I want to keep a journal of my last year, and take a look back to remind myself mostly, but also to share with others. Who knows, maybe it will be published, maybe it wont, or maybe its just a way for me to keep myself busy until the big exit.

One thing I have learned is that its a whole different world here, nothing like I have ever experienced. I have learned more about other cultures and came to understand more by talking to people. They really don't mind when you ask questions and don't get offended at all. Along with those cultures is that amazing food that they have known their whole lives. Some you think might not look good, but wow its really amazing.

One thing I definitely know, a good percentage of these people in NYC could not survive where I grew up, because, well we just don't put up with it at all. This is one thing that really has made me appreciate where I am from, who I am and how I was raised. When I was little I imagined visiting NYC and all the beautiful lights, the amazing lights and the beautiful people, but now I realize that the lights just kind of hypnotize you and make you not see whats really behind all the glitter and glam! Does it mean its a bad place? For me yes, maybe not for others, but I know this country girl is thankful for who she is, and who she has become! I will miss some things about the city, and some really amazing people, but isn't that what road trips are for? :)

Attention restaurants; Beware of the offended palate!

So, I was not able to continue in the blog challenge for reasons beyond my control, but I am back. For my first blog post since the last one, this one is going to make it count! If you know me well, you know that the one thing that annoys me about eating out when people rave about a restaurant is going there and getting bad food! I grew up in the south, I know a bit about BBQ. With that being said, I hate when a restaurant claims to be “REAL BBQ” when they haven’t the slightest clue on how to make it.

On Saturday, we went to a place called Hill Country Barbecue Market, which is supposed to be based on Texas BBQ. I lived in Texas and have had Texas BBQ. These people were way off! We go there thinking that this is going to be a great experience, the place was even packed! (Usually this is a good sign, but then again we are in NYC). I was a bit annoyed that we had to get our own food, could have gotten past that if they had noted that on their website but they do not. The people who you give your meal ticket to have about as much personality as a camel. This is something that can make a dinning experience a bad one!

The food seriously lacked flavor in the worst way, and to make matters worse it was way under cooked! This was to be my loves birthday dinner and it turned out to be a disaster. My oldest daughter ordered chicken, which was medium rare, which is no way to eat chicken. My youngest daughter ordered the ½ pound of ribs. What she got really was 2 rib bones with what looked like traces of meat that wouldn’t even come off. And my boyfriend and I, well same story food was just not edible. I don’t like to make a fuss in restaurants, especially here in the city because it seems like the way it goes the customer is always wrong. I will be glad when I leave the city and return the civilization.

One big lesson learned, do not go for BBQ in NYC unless it’s RUB, by my experience, the only REAL BBQ restaurant in NYC so far. How do I know? A world champion pit master who is an expert in Kansas City style BBQ created it….Southern Hospitality your next, you better bring it!

Blog challenge day four...

Today is day four of the seven day challenge. Take a picture and talk about it. Well I had to put some thought to this one. I don't carry my camera with me every day but my BlackBerry does have a camera, so the ideas went rolling, what in the world can I take a picture of? Well since I spend a good amount of every day during the week at work I thought I would share where I sit, think, work and create, MY DESK!

That's right folks, there it is! This is where I am most of my existence it feels like. Today it appears that my desk is almost clean and organized, normally this is not the case. What does this picture say? Its a little slower than normal. Usually there are piles of paper and folders and other things thrown about. Not by me, no I don't just throw things on my desk, its everyone else that believes that they can just drop things and go. I do have an organizer that things can be placed in but obviously people are blind and they think I am a psychic. Its my belief that if you want me to do something and your not going to stick around to ask, write a note I have plenty of post its.


In this picture I was preparing to invoice amazon.com fulfillment orders that were shipped today, that took all of 5 minutes. I have answered all emails, processed refunds and now, I sit and wait for something else to do. Although you can not see it, I have a window right in front of me, don't get too excited, it just allows me to see who comes up the stairs into the office. My job is not exciting or glamorous, but I am a personal assistant at a small company so no bells and whistles here. My day starts usually with a cup of coffee or tea and me looking at my computer just as you see in the photo. Nothing too exiting but this is a small view into my world of work. :)

Blog challenge day three....

Blog challenge day three: Write a blog post on the same topic as one of my most popular posts. I think I have received more feedback on Deep Fried Anything, my first blog post. After writing this blog post, it came to me that people just are addicted to frying things. Why? Because it tastes so dang good! (Yeah I said dang its a southern thing! ) Anywho...So besides deep fried pickles, oreos and twinkies, there is the Monte Cristo.

The Monte Cristo I discovered when I worked at the Marriott in Charleston, WV. All I can say is Oh My Goodness, so good. You have turkey, ham, american, swiss cheeses and bread. You build your sandwich in layers then dip in a batter, drop in and fry to a sinful goodness! After its golden brown, you take out, sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve with a side of raspberry preserves! My mouth is watering just thinking about it but reality is poking me saying" take a look at your hips, that's where it would go"!

Another sinful delight that is s good when you don't really know what you want, but hits the spot is cheese curds. Yep, and not many places have them so when I find them, ahhhh its heaven beyond heaven.  Right along side with a nice cold root beer, no ice, and you have the perfect hit the spot snack.

I am sure you arteries are hardening while you read this, but I am from the south and this is what I know. Fried is divine, however the older you get the more real eating healthier becomes. So eat healthy, but still live a little. Have that deep fried yummy every once and a while, but enjoy :)

Blog challenge day two.

Answer one question I think people visiting my blog may have is the topic of day two of the seven day challenge.  Well let me think.... I believe that question would be what prompted me to write my blog? Well to be honest there really isn't just one answer. I have many reasons as to why I wanted to write. I have said before, I am unique, I am me. Writing my blog gives me a way to vent or to put into words what rattles along in my thoughts.

Writing my blog is a way for me to share what I can not speak. I can share my ideas on my writing or what I cook. I can share with people my passion for photography, or how I feel about current events or maybe something in history. I could never have been a speaker. I am feel to much in my writing that I would get frustrated in speaking and trying to get my point across to where someone would be able to understand what I mean. I completely admire song writers, musicians and the passion that they put into their music. I am not talking about modern day rap and a lot of crap they call music now, call me old school, but I mean when music actually meant something.

Musicians like Rob Thomas, Jewel, musicians from the 70's and 80's. They sing their music and I appreciate and understand, that is their means of communicating to me. This is how I feel about my blog and my writing. I can along with my thoughts and ideas maybe throw in a picture I took or a recipe link from an awesome dinner I made. I have control over my blog and I can write whatever I think , feel or am inspired to share regardless of what others may think.

Blog Challenge Day one!

A twitter friend has thrown out a challenge to us all and I am taking part, seven day blog challenge and today is my first entry. Today's topic is "What is the purpose of my site, who I am and why my blog is unique". Well the purpose of my site is for me to allow my thoughts to flow, whether it be a crazy idea, to vent or just to simply create. My mind is always going so I think this is the best way for me to let it all out, regardless of  if anyone likes it or not.

Who am I? Maybe in the world no one special but I am me. I am a amateur photographer, a want to be writer, a daughter, a girl friend, a sister and most importantly a mother. I recently turned 37 and am happy with who I have become. Am I famous, no...am I perfect? Not even close, but I am Janet, I am very happy with my life and look forward to enjoying life. I do not need the bells and whistles that most demand, I am just happy to be me.

Last and not least, what makes my blog unique? Me, my thoughts, sometimes my ideas. There is no one else like me in the world. Nobody I know really thinks like me or knows what I might do next. My blog is just my creativity put to words. My blog is me dreaming out loud, expressing my views and feelings in my style. You might say its not so unique, but then again you don't know me too well do you? :) Want to find more about why my blog is unique? Follow me and find out! You might discover something new!

Party hard, 1940's style!

I have been obsessed with the 1940’s since I was young enough to dress myself. People often wonder why since I was born in 1974. It could be due to being exposed to the old classic movies from the 40’s and the music at a very young age. This era to me showed what real men and women were. Men were the hero’s of the day and women were so elegant and beautiful.

The way the people dressed back then has always caught my eye. There were no pants hanging to the knee’s, skirts so short you could see the private parts, and everything was very neat and clean. To me the 1940’s showed respect, confidence, and beauty. It didn’t matter if you were a man, woman, to me it seemed perfect. I know what you’re probably thinking, “each generation had their problems” and you’re correct. Just think about this though, people respected each other more and times seemed a lot happier.

Musicals in the 40’s were entertaining and fun filled. I can sit all day, watch the classics and not be bored. They did not need continued violence, drugs, torture, blood. While little girls were pretending to be Barbie, I was dreaming of being Lauren Bacall. I could listen to Frank Sinatra on my portable record player or watch Casa Blanca. Did technology throw a wrench into the wheel of time that caused all of the chaos? Is it wrong of me to dream of better times where people got along?

In three years, I will be turning 40 and I plan to ring in my 40’s in style, although three years away, I am planning the party of a lifetime. There will be music, dancing, food and elegance. In addition, living in NYC all of these years I have to throw in a bit of a show. Yes, I am going to participate of course being the birthday girl, I will be wearing a 1940’s era gown while the love of my life will be channeling Bogart himself. Big question, will I be singing? The answer is not really! I will learn the words to those songs I love and in Brittany Spears style, lip sync away!

Will this be the party of the Year, party of my life? You bet! So hit up the consignment shops, get to those thrift stores or if your crafty with a sewing machine stitch up a party dress! This is going to be a party you won’t ever forget!

Winter ...How do we survive it?

So we are barely into the beginning of winter and WOW what a start. Just 6 days into winter and we get hit with a blizzard right away. Fun? No not even close, possibly for the kiddies but for us adults no way! So It's cold outside and not too fun to be out in it. What do we do?

I think this is a perfect time to remove the clutter from your closets, drawers, or anywhere else that you stash things during the year. Why wait for spring cleaning? Another thing to do is hop on a exercise bike or tread mill. Most people pack on the pounds since it's just too uncomfortable to be outside all day. Plug in your iPod and start peddling away those pounds before they catch up with you.

There are so many things we can find to do, just put your mind to work. So many people get what they call the winter blues which I completely understand, but refuse to fall into. Do something new like take an online class, or re- arrange your furniture. There are so many ways to keep yourself busy and happy during the winter, you just have to get creative. Pick up those dusters and garbage bags, bag up old clothes and donate them, and save snuggling on the couch in front of the television for later, your behind will thank you in the spring :)

Is our hard work ever rewarded?

 Do you ever sit and wonder if your hard work is noticed or appreciated? Do your good deeds go unrecognized? Does your boss really think your a valuable asset? I know the answer to this question for me and the same applies for others as well.....hard work is never really rewarded.


You would think in NYC of all places that it wouldn't be the case, surely here it would be equal opportunity! Wrong again! I work for a small company and I am the only woman there, however let a man take my idea and re-word it and all the sudden its a genius idea. I am sorry but I really despise people who kiss ass and steal ideas or take credit for work that was not even theirs. The scary thing, it happens far too often and even in places that you would never suspect it.



This doesn't just happen in small companies, this happens in major corporations, government offices, schools and yes even to the men and women who protect us every day, who risk their lives and they go unrewarded because they refuse to join the ass kissers of the world or dare I say; because the color of their skin. I see it all too often and it really makes me angry!


 You do what you have to do day to day, the job you are paid to do and no one says anything, but God help you if you miss one detail. So what can we do about it, do we just sit by and watch the people who don't deserve our stolen glory? Sad to say but yes. Why? Because we are better than those who have to lie, cheat and steal their way up the ladder. We are better than those who just do the work we are paid to do and get hailed the hero of the day, but when we swoop in and solve the big mystery or find the missing piece of the puzzle the higher ups tuck their tales and go hide behind closed doors.


 So what do we do? We do our jobs, we go on with our heads held high and we do what we do best! We continue to kick ass and take names later. We do such a good job that the people who steal our glory know that we are on to them, trust me it will start eating them up inside. What is that called again? Oh yeah, KARMA.


I know I do the best I can do, and I will continue to do so. To all others out there, your doing an awesome job and I appreciate that more than you know, why because we don't have our lips planted permanently on our employers behind! Besides, when we move on to bigger and better things, and that day will come, those who lied and stole to get where they are will be standing there exposed for what they are. They will one day be seen for a fraud because we have moved and are no longer there to be taken for granted!

2011, we have an entire year ahead of us!

Happy New Year! Its 2011 and we have a whole year that is open to just about anything! We all need face it, we aren’t getting any younger. I know this is true for me since I will be 37 on Monday! So what can I do this year? What have I never done before that I want to try, or unfinished things I need to accomplish?

  When I was younger, I use to think the older you get the less opportunities or experiences you have but I now know this is not true. It does not matter if I want to accomplish 1 thing or 100; I know I can do it if I have the want and inspiration. So what will I do this year?

  One thing I know I will do is know my camera inside and out. I purchased a Canon 7D last year and I still don’t know every function, I may still not know them all by this time next year but I will be much closer to becoming the photographer I know I can be! I want to take better photos just for my enjoyment or maybe make a couples wedding photos the better than they ever dreamed they could be.

  Another thing was to start writing again. I was lucky enough to have two of the most amazing teachers in school that inspired me more than I can ever express in words. Mrs. Kaufman, my 5th grade teacher. I moved from West Virginia to Florida away from my family I knew all of my life, my comfort zone. I believe that as a mother she sensed that I needed to be comforted. She was always very kind and caring, very patient and inspired us all in our class just simply by putting all that she was into teaching us and preparing us for things that would be in the years to come. She inspired me to open my imagination and creativity and for that, I owe her more than I can ever imagine.

   I cannot say that my other teachers were bad, but sometimes there are those special people who stand out and she was one of them. I was lucky to find her on Facebook and have visited with her recently. She is still as gracious and beautiful as she was when I was in the 5th grade!

 The other person who was just so amazing and her words and passion for life stuck with me my entire life is Mrs. Unold aka Mama U. I have also reconnected with her on Facebook and got the chance to tell her through Facebook how much she meant to me.

  Mama U is just so full of life. I experienced this in my 11th grade English class. Always so funny and the stories she told us all were just so comical. She was fun but strict, but always an important message through her stories and her teaching. She was as caring as a mother could ever be, informative as a teacher should be and one of the most compassionate human beings I have ever met. I was still a bit shy but she encouraged me. She knew my passion for writing and encouraged me. She always told me that I could achieve the impossible; I just needed to believe in me. Life however takes a turn in the road that you do not plan on and takes you off course, but I believe that destiny leaves you just where you need to be.

  I will be 37 Monday, so who am I what have I accomplished so far? I am an amateur photographer who wants to be the best I can be, I am a mother of three children who I love more than life. I am a personal assistant in a small company who sells photography equipment online. I have not written a best selling novel, but I have added an idea to a great story has been developing for years. I know that one day it will be a blockbuster movie because the inspiration is there J

 I will also brush up on my crochet skills, maybe even start college courses online. Whatever I set my mind to, can and will be done….. You can accomplish anything too; all you need is a little inspiration!

R.I.P Customer Service

 I guess when you talk about customer service, good customer service perhaps we can start it out like a fairy tale. Is it just a child hood fantasy, something that was read to us that we carried in our imaginations? I remember when people smiled when you walked into a business, or they were happy to help and that meant you left a happy customer.

 Today true customer service seems to be dying off and it seems as if the new generations don't care. Where did we go wrong? I remember being in the service industry and knowing if I didn't not give good customer service it meant my job. Now bad service seems to be rewarded. I challenge you to walk into a grocery store, a restaurant, a clothing store or just about any business and find someone who is not on their cell phone, or texting or chatting with their co workers about how drunk they were or what a skank someone is.

 I remember the days when if you did have a bad experience the supervisor or manager were very apologetic. Now days if you have a problem, these people try to turn it on you as if its your problem. I am not saying that its every where, but it sure seems to be the case. Do people not care about their jobs anymore? I mean after all, if there are no customers, there is no business!

 We all have our favorite places whether it be a restaurant, clothing store, electronic store, etc. How do you feel if you continue to have bad experiences over and over? I know me, I get very upset and just send a letter to the corporate office on why I am no longer going to be a paying customer with their company, and to no surprise I never hear a word or get an apology.

Sitting at work sometimes I have witnessed this, and nothing is done. I have to be in the twilight zone, how can anyone treat people the way they do with no type of punishment at all? It makes me sad because now, instead of going to my favorite store, I would much rather sit here at home and make purchases on laptop hoping and praying that I get the correct size. I feel less stressed that some rude little twit isn't pushing up my blood pressure because I am standing in her line and she had to hang up with her boyfriend or her best friend.

 Here is an idea! Why don't these companies wake up and invest in training for their employees, become involved in their company and make sure they are contributing to a successful business. If there is a pleasant environment that means more customers. More customers mean a strong business that supports the economy.  If we are happy customers, that means a happy business. You get more with honey than with vinegar. Yes, I know not all customers are pleasant, however that doesn't mean you carry that attitude and tackle the next helpless person who had nothing to do with what happened before.

Maybe its just me ranting, maybe its just me getting older or just maybe its me remembering how things use to be. Hey why don't we spread the news, the economy is tough and jobs are few in some places. Lets care about our jobs and do the best we can. If your not happy, look for another one. If you are stuck in a company of barbarians who could care less about their employees just wear a graceful smile and breathe while you search for a job that will appreciate all the hard work you do and treat you like someone who wants to be there and to make the customer happy. Have fun but still remember to be professional. Remember no one needs to know your personal business, but you can still carry on a conversation and be pleasant.

This is just something that has been on my mind for a while. I can say all of this because I have worked at a hotel and a bank and a spa, a convenience store and an electronics store. I know that no matter what I do, if I re-enter he service field I can deliver the best customer service just as I was trained to do.