Out with the old and in with the new! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! 2012 is right around the corner. Some of you are just hours away from  the count down and others are a little than 12 hours away. So what do you hope for in the new year? There has been so much I have been thinking about, so much that I know that will help me have a happy and successful year ahead. So many times we make our resolutions always with the best of intentions of following them through, only to be distracted by the up hill battles that seem to come along our path. Why do we always let those things push us back down? I know for me it's been a big problem. Its time that I push through any troubles I may face and make my dreams a reality. It's never too late!

I have noticed also with people, as well as myself that part of the problem is we bring our worries and our past with us, why is that? The past should stay as just that, the past. We are suppose to learn lessons from our failures, or things that no longer exist and use what was learned to succeed. Life goes by so fast that before you know it, you are looking back with regrets. I have witnessed this in my life and with others. The things that I let pass me by, but instead of learning from it I somehow seem to hold on to it. If you did not succeed at something, take the lesson and move on. If a relationship failed, take the lesson and move on. If a friendship did not last, take the lesson and move on. Sometimes we look back at our past and long for the good times, but bringing the past into the future is nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. You can't go to an old job that made you miserable and expect it to be different. You can not revive some old friendships and expect them to fit and you definitely can not bring an old relationship into your future. I have seen people fail because of it, and it makes me wonder do they ever learn from their past mistakes really?

I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, 10 years ago or even 20 years ago. I have been thinking about this a lot and noticed I have found myself saying I am still the same, but I am not at all, I am better. I am better for not staying where I lived 20 years ago, although the road has been long and littered with disappointment in many places, it has also had some great things. My Children being the best of it all, I love them and without them I am not sure where I would be. Having my kids at an early age, I am so thankful because if I hadn't I most likely would not have had children or not had children like they are.

I am thankful that I have gotten in contact with some old friends, but there are some that just don't need to be in my life.Some sadly enough I have had to cut contact with, not because I think I am too good, but they decided to hold onto the past, drama and things that I have said I would not bring into my future. Some people would look down on me for this, however this is my life and I am going nowhere but forward so I am no longer letting nothing or no one hold me back. Call me a snob if you will, but just because others want to thrive in drama, self pity and not make their life the best they can is not my problem to deal with, but I wish them the best. Lesson learned and go forward.

2012 is going to be about making my dreams come true. One of them is to have my own business, but until I have achieved that goal, I will work and concentrate on my goals ahead. I will have my own photography business and also hopefully be helping our indie film company under way. I love Scifi and Horror movies. I think it keeps your brain moving and your heart pumping. Romantic movies are silly, often make you sad and don't do anything for you, so stick with what is better right?We have some amazing stories to tell and with help of friends and family they will become a reality so watch for it in the future. Unrealistic? I don't think so, if Kevin Smith and Robert Rodriguez can do it, why not us?

I will try to leave my hurt and disappointment behind for this coming year. I will work hard and if I get knocked down I will get back up. I will concentrate more on the positive and leave the negative behind. My choices need to be for what I need to do to succeed and not what others think I need to do to succeed. I don't need to have tons of people behind me to support. I have a few friends that I hold close to my heart, everyone else I wish the best of luck. I do not see my new outlook as something bad, I see it as a way to find my success. The things that stress me out now will be out behind me, and with moving early in the new year, I will be healthier, I will lose the weight I need to lose and I will find my success. If people do not support me or can be happy for me then that is not my problem. Those things will all be a part of my past. I will learn and move on.



Love to all,

Janet

Merry Christmas!

Its Christmas eve and I know the people who know me best, know that Christmas time is my favorite time of year. For me the holidays has nothing to do with gifts, it's the excitement of the holidays, the smells from the baking and the decorations.Every year it all brings back the memories of when I was younger.

I always remember we had a huge tree, maybe it looked big because I was so small but I was always amazed by the size of the tree. Decorating the tree then turning on the lights was absolutely breath taking. There are so many Christmas holidays that I cherish, but there is one that always will stand out in my mind.

I believe I was almost 4 years old and my grandparents and 2 of my uncles spent Christmas at our house. My sister was just a few months old. The tree was decorated, my most loved family was with me and I couldn't ask for a better day. Making cookies and decorating ( and sneaking a few when backs were turned ) watching my favorite Christmas cartoons and the excitement that Santa would soon come by my house....But wait! We do not have a chimney, how in the world is Santa going to get in the house? It cracks me up to think of this, because what 4 year old thinks of these things? Obviously I did. I don't remember the exact details but I do remember I was completely stressed about it. Santa would not get his cookies, or see my note, how could this be happening?

I know my mother and step dad and grandparents were trying to assure me that Santa knew where to come and with all this magic would find a way to our tree. I was sleeping on the couch that night, as all little ones thoughts, they would sneak a little peek of Santa placing the gifts. I wanted more than anything to give Santa a big hug and say thank him for all the wonderful toys he always brought. Still not able to calm my grandmother told me I better go to sleep because Santa wont come if little kids do not listen and go to sleep.

Laying on the couch and really trying to go to sleep, the thoughts kept swirling through my head and although my eyes were closed I just could not go to sleep. All of the sudden I hear the sound of sleigh bells and I sat up and looked at everyone. I think my eyes almost popped out of my head and I said " Its Santa!". I wanted to jump off the couch and run to the door but I stayed right where I was. My grandfather came over and tucked me in and told me to go to sleep and when I wake up it will be Christmas. The excitement from hearing those sleigh bells knocked me right out and wouldn't you know, when I woke up, the cookies were eaten, the presents were under the tree and spread across the living room and I was one happy kid!

I later learned years after that it was my step grandfather outside on the porch with the sleigh bells. I smile when I think about that night knowing that he really did love me enough to help in that way. He passed away years ago, but is always in my heart. I don't remember not one present I got that Christmas, because that was not important. Years later, when I had my kids, it was always fun to do the same things that we had done when I was little. A trip to the tree farm, bring out the decorations, baking cookies, listening to Christmas music and snuggled up on the couch  with my babies in their pajamas watching our favorite holiday classics.

My kids are all almost grown now, but I hope that I was able to make their Christmas memories as special as the ones that I had when I was little. So now with Christmas day just hours away, just remember that the gifts will not last forever, its the memories we make. Decorations, the smells, the music, the classics and being with the ones you love.


Although I can not be with all of my family and friends this Christmas, I know that they are in my heart and I love them very much. Merry Christmas to everyone, I love you all!