My Grandfather is my Superman.

My grandfather in my eyes is Superman. He isn't perfect, but he has always there and taught me many lessons through  the years. Right now he is very ill and very weak which breaks my heart in a million pieces. He is my Superman, my Hero. I talked to my mother today and she updated me on how he is and things are very serious right now. He needs a pacemaker and some work on his kidneys and the arteries in his neck. I am not use to my grandfather, Charles E. Wilson Sr, being so weak and sick.


I remember my grandfather when I was little, how he always found a lesson in every thing to teach me, no matter what it was, and everywhere he went I followed. He has always been very stern, and at the same time was very loving. If he spanked me, you could see in his eyes it was breaking his heart. He would explain why he was doing it and that he loved me very much, but what I did was wrong.

Me, my grandparents and uncles 1974

When my sister was born it was a very tough time for my grandparents, my uncle Terry had just been killed in a car accident just a few months before. They had moved into a new home and were still numb from shock. My grandfather did what he could to care for us all, with his heart still breaking he carried on and remained strong. 


One day, he went out to chop wood for the fireplace. I think it was either late November or early December because there was a little snow on the ground. He headed out with his ax to go down the road little to find a tree that was good to cut up for firewood. As he was walking out the door, I screamed " papa wait for me!", running to get my socks and boots on. I grabbed my little wagon and ran down the drive way to catch up. At the end of the drive way we walked up the hill a little and found a downed tree that was good to chop. While he split the wood, he told me to stand back so I wouldn't get hit by the flying chips, so I sat in my wagon and watched him swing away. I happened to look down and there at my feet was a tiny little turtle, frozen. I screamed because I didn't want it to be dead, so I grabbed the turtle, tucked it in my pocket and told him I would be right back.


I ran into the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking and she asked what I was doing, I told her I needed warm water. There was a little sink by the back door where she put warm water in for me and walked back to tend to breakfast. I placed the little turtle in the water and swished it around, trying to make it move. My grandma finally came over to see what I was doing when she heard me cry. She said, " Janet Lee, what in the world are you doing, throw that thing outside". I told my grandma that it was frozen and I was trying to make it warm. She told me there was nothing I could do, just take it out or maybe bury it and wrapped it in a little cloth for me. My grandma hated for insects, lizards or anything else in that nature to be inside of the house, but she understood.


I walked back to where my grandpa was crying, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get the turtle to breathe. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him, unwrapping the lifeless turtle and holding it in my little hands. I asked him if we could bury him so the animals would not eat him. He dug a small hole and we placed him in the cloth and covered him . Later when we were back at the house, I was still very weepy. I crawled into his lap and put my arms around his neck. He explained that in life, all things would eventually die, even if they were young. I remember tears being in his eyes while he talked, but at the time I didn't understand that he also meant my uncle. I sat in his lap and he held me there, telling me that the turtle knew that I loved it and not to worry. I fell asleep in my grandfathers arms, feeling safe as always and very loved.

My grandfather has always been a very hard working man, always taking care of his family. He is like a father to me, in every thing he did and the lessons that he taught. Now my grandfather is getting older and he isn't as strong. We never had a ton of money and but what we had he always hard for. I thank God for that man because he is part of he reason I am who I am today. He taught us that life is what you make it, but work hard and be happy with what you are given because life is too short. 


I don't plan on seeing anything happen to him anytime soon. He is stubborn and wont give up that easy and that is one of the things I really admire about him.


Grandpa, you mean the world to me, you have me more in life lessons than all the money in the world, and for that I feel like the richest person alive. I love you more than I can ever put into words.

My grandparents before they were married

On the road to a new and improved me!

So yesterday I started a appetite control medication my Dr prescribed after me asking for it. Why would I take it when there are so many ways of losing weight and not needing medication? Well its simple, STRESS! Yes, that's right people, plain and simple, stress defeats me when it comes to losing weight.

Everyone is different and sometimes we just need a little boost to achieve our goals. I had zero energy, no desire to do anything and I was tired all the time. People might say its depression, but I don't think so. I get frustrated when I am trying to work hard towards something and no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, being told that no I cant, I did the one thing I could do, eat.

I did do the Fat Loss for Idiots and I lost about 20 lbs, but I had a hard time getting over that slump. I think that when you have a larger goal than others when it comes to this subject, that is just something that is not the best to start with, maybe later after you get over that hump, but not just yet. Yesterday I took my first dose, and I completely understand why she told me NO COFFEE! WOW!!!!! There is no need for caffeine at all, this gives you a kick in the ass to get you going and makes you feel fantastic! Not only do I have more energy and feel hungry less, but I feel happier and finally want to focus on things that I had not been able to previously.

I know I have a long way to go, but I believe for myself I chose the right path to helping me achieve my weight loss goal. I know that once I can get past that hump I wasn't able to before, my confidence and will power will return, the stress will go down and I can look at things or people that stand in my way, and either conquer them or give them the finger basically and move on.

Like it or not, I am changing and for the good, so watch out world, I have goals to achieve!