When you drive this long you have plenty of time to think and I believe I did a ton of that without really knowing it. I thought about what I might do as a career, how can I improve myself and other things that really that don't matter. Today I walked the Golden Gate Bridge. Why? Well I love walking and what an amazing view we had. While I was walking, I thought more and more. I have done something that most people don't get to experience and seen some of the most beautiful and amazing things along the way. So what now? I am 38 and will be 40 in 2 years.
I have arrived at my cross road. I have skills from jobs I have had over the years, I have had experiences and ideas I can use to my advantage. I have worked and worked hard, dealt with crazy things all while wearing a smile and most of the time keeping my thoughts to myself because I have come to find out that you really can't trust people sometimes, however this is all a part of the circle of life.
I think I have held onto the negative from my life for too long, I worry way too damn much and I don't believe in myself as much as I really should. I have listened to the wrong people, and let them make decisions for my life they had no business making because somewhere along the line I let these people make me believe that I was not worthy of doing that myself.
I am now taking that power back, I am going to do the things that make me happy and that make me a better person. If these people are too negative for my life, they will be cut out, simple as that. I may have said this many times but this time I mean it. I have to do what's right for me now. I am going to try to write my blog posts more because I love writing and I am working on taking a script I wrote for a film short and turning it from 10 minutes of filming to 90 minutes and I know I can do it.
One quote from a movie I love really lays it all out , " So do all who see such times. But this is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that we are given". For me I have decided to work harder at losing weight and to make sure I am happy with me, it doesn't matter what any one else thinks. I have seen and made it through worse. I could lose everything I have worked so hard for, my home, my relationship, or anything in my life I value right now and I will still be ok. So where will I go at my cross road? This is for me to decide, but I know it will be great!
