We all do the best we can in life, and sometimes it takes a few lessons before we really see the big picture. I know like many people out there will say the same and agree, I am not perfect! I come from a long line of stubbornness, also known as the " Sonny Wilson". If you know my grandfather then you will understand!
My grandfather will be the first to tell you. He has had his share of stuff, but he never hurt anyone on purpose. Life is a game of forgive, forget and learn. If you can't love yourself and forgive yourself then you cant move on in life. I know this because I am going through it too. I believe it took me almost 37 years to learn the most important things in life, or to really understand them.
Learn from the past but don't carry it with you! Take the lesson but not the thing you learned from. Communicate! If you can not communicate with people, nothing you do will be successful. Knock down walls where you see them, but don't waste time on the ones that wont come down, sometimes it's ok to walk away from something that's not healthy. In the long run, when you learn this, you will be happier and healthier. This can fit into anything, just be cautious and think things through. If you have to write a list with the pro's and con's about whatever it is. If there are more bad than good, well use your noodle and do the obvious captain!
Love yourself first! How important is this and it has taken me so very long to learn this one, but, I am still learning from it. You know your value and if you don't look in the mirror, love starts right there. You can't be angry and hostile your entire life. Just because someone did you wrong or people have done you wrong doesn't mean that everyone in life will do the same. Not everyone has the same outlook and will treat you badly. When you learn to love yourself this will become clearer. Just use good judgement.
When your young you think you have all the answers and then after you hit 30 they start appearing to you and you will stop and say " WOW, I really didn't know anything before did I? "
If you hate your career, and your not happy with it, look for something else, go back to school. Look for something that you can say, I love what I do. For some this could be opening your own business or just simply looking for a company that you fit with. Don't stay where you are not appreciated.
I have a few really close friends that have been dealing with relationship issues. Some can be worked out, some cant and its better to move on. I can tell you this with what I have dealt with especially with my ex husband, You can only try so hard, and like I mentioned before, if you are the only one that is working to breaking down that wall, its not worth it to keep at it. Its ok to walk away. Your pride might get bruised but those heal! Sometimes there are people that just don't give a damn that they are hurt you and they don't see that maybe they should apologize. They always want to complain but never listen, take but never give. ( This doesn't mean material things, it also has to do with love ). You are better off without this and that's when you need to learn to love yourself. Once you do that, then do NOT go look for love. Be patient and have faith, it will come find you!
Family. We all need them and sometimes family isn't the easiest to deal with. But life is just too short and we need to cherish those we have. Sometimes people do things that are just evil and cruel and they know what they are doing, those are the ones that its ok to not deal with anymore, because no matter how many times you try to express how hurt you are they still don't see it and they don't care. Sometimes we aren't perfect and we all do things, but sometimes we just need to let go. This one for me I have to work on daily.Some people do change, you just have to open your eyes but let them know that because you have been hurt its hard to let them back in completely but you will try. We all have to have patience and understanding....but in the end we have to find it in ourselves to let the hurt go.
And to my children, Don't be in a Rush to grow up! Thank you for not making the same mistakes that I made, and Thank you for not making me a grandma yet lol. I know when you get to that age you just want to go out and conquer the world but sometimes we have to slow down a little. The world isn't the same one now that I grew up in. Be mindful, and look before you leap. Don't be so in a rush to fall in love, heart breaks will come, but momma will be right there to hug you and wipe your tears. Don't ever be afraid to come to me about ANYTHING, even if you think I might get angry. I might be upset or disappointed but I will not stay that way. I have loved you your entire existence and I will never stop! Live life, learn and don't ever stop! Your going to make mistakes but learn from them and don't make them again! And never ever forget I love you!
These are my thoughts and if you don't agree with it or think its stupid, well stop reading my blog and go look in the mirror. You are NOT the picture of perfection, like my friends from the UK would say, Sod off!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Wanting better for our children
Every parent says basically the same thing once their children are born, " I want the best, or better for my children". Not that we all had such terrible lives that we vow that they will not go through what we experienced, perhaps it was just something that happened growing up that prompts you to say it wont happen to your kid. I know sitting here and looking back on my life, I know I said the very same thing.
I was born in West Virginia and lived in the mountains. Much of what I know I learned from watching my family. We had gardens, we lived in the country. The men and sometimes the women hunted. We canned our crops, we washed our clothes in a ringer washer and hung them out to dry. Some people my read this and say, " My god, who would want to live that way?". I had no problem with the way I was raised in WV. We were always fed, always had clothes even if Grandma or Mom made them. Would I change a thing? NEVER! So what would I change about how I grew up and why would I want it different for my kids? Well, kids got a bit mean when I got a little older. Thank goodness I had great friends who were beyond the petty crap.
I have never made my children clothing, but I know if I had when they were in middle and high school they would have worn them with pride, just as I had. I wore them with pride regardless of what nasty comments were made about me. I lived in a nicer home when I was in middle school than most of my friends or even a lot of kids I knew lived in. Did that matter to me? Of course not, but for some reason, there were a few kids that made fun of me. Why? Who knows, and it hurt like hell. I have never been one for confrontation unless you push me, then once you push me past that point watch out! I know I was not a bad person, and I was never in any trouble, but kids will be kids I guess. Only thing is now they have guns and knives. Kids of today are cowards. I didn't raise my kids to be like that. I taught them the same as I was, someone could be worse off, be thankful for what you have, and don't make fun of those less fortunate.
The same thing happened in high school, but it was pretty much the same few people. The school was bigger so I saw them less. But I found myself vowing my children would not go through the same thing. It wasn't just the clothes, it was that I didn't wear this or that, I didn't have straight teeth, my boobs weren't as big as other girls, or I wasn't as pretty. I tried to not let that bother me, but when your 15 and your first boyfriend dumps you for another girl first week of school because he thinks she is prettier? OUCH! But I moved on and I learned another lesson to teach my kids, NEVER DATE SOMEONE FOR LOOKS! That's right! They might be visually appealing on the outside, but inside they are a nasty mess!
My son I don't think needed to worry about that one, but my girls, because they are girls and girls hearts can get trampled, I tried to always tell them that. Don't listen to the lies that boys will tell you. You come first, and then your school work. School is not for social gatherings, go there to learn and along the way make friends. Don't be in a hurry to grow up, life will be there, don't be in a rush to get to it. Don't listen to stupid things people say to be hurtful. Don't be a follower and be proud of who you are!
My kids are all almost grown, Yes I had them very early and that's one thing I am thankful they did not repeat. I believe my children have taken notice to how hard it is to be a parent and are in no rush to get there, THANK GOODNESS! I am older now and those things don't matter anymore to me that happened. We all grew up and became better people. Some didn't but hey, that's on them and no one is perfect. I am no where near perfect, but I had that common sense to teach my kids what to look for. I am proud of the individuals who they have become. I can be at ease knowing that my words did sink in some and they valued what I had to say.
I raised my children without their father and I think I did a good enough job. In times that we have now, and how the economy is, I taught them to be smart about things, and now that my oldest daughter is looking for work and starting her senior year in high school, she understands a little better and appreciates things. I know that in years from now, when she has her own family, she can pass it on and I can smile.
I say this in taking note on how some kids today act, and worry that our future generation was not or is not being raised with those lessons or values. Lets not forget that these are the same people we need to depend on when we are older. Lets teach them that they need to work for what they get, rewards are not and should not be handed to you unless they are earned. Teach them to give back, either by service or paying it forward. Do something that might help someone, you never know what that kindness can do for that one person.
I was born in West Virginia and lived in the mountains. Much of what I know I learned from watching my family. We had gardens, we lived in the country. The men and sometimes the women hunted. We canned our crops, we washed our clothes in a ringer washer and hung them out to dry. Some people my read this and say, " My god, who would want to live that way?". I had no problem with the way I was raised in WV. We were always fed, always had clothes even if Grandma or Mom made them. Would I change a thing? NEVER! So what would I change about how I grew up and why would I want it different for my kids? Well, kids got a bit mean when I got a little older. Thank goodness I had great friends who were beyond the petty crap.
I have never made my children clothing, but I know if I had when they were in middle and high school they would have worn them with pride, just as I had. I wore them with pride regardless of what nasty comments were made about me. I lived in a nicer home when I was in middle school than most of my friends or even a lot of kids I knew lived in. Did that matter to me? Of course not, but for some reason, there were a few kids that made fun of me. Why? Who knows, and it hurt like hell. I have never been one for confrontation unless you push me, then once you push me past that point watch out! I know I was not a bad person, and I was never in any trouble, but kids will be kids I guess. Only thing is now they have guns and knives. Kids of today are cowards. I didn't raise my kids to be like that. I taught them the same as I was, someone could be worse off, be thankful for what you have, and don't make fun of those less fortunate.
The same thing happened in high school, but it was pretty much the same few people. The school was bigger so I saw them less. But I found myself vowing my children would not go through the same thing. It wasn't just the clothes, it was that I didn't wear this or that, I didn't have straight teeth, my boobs weren't as big as other girls, or I wasn't as pretty. I tried to not let that bother me, but when your 15 and your first boyfriend dumps you for another girl first week of school because he thinks she is prettier? OUCH! But I moved on and I learned another lesson to teach my kids, NEVER DATE SOMEONE FOR LOOKS! That's right! They might be visually appealing on the outside, but inside they are a nasty mess!
My son I don't think needed to worry about that one, but my girls, because they are girls and girls hearts can get trampled, I tried to always tell them that. Don't listen to the lies that boys will tell you. You come first, and then your school work. School is not for social gatherings, go there to learn and along the way make friends. Don't be in a hurry to grow up, life will be there, don't be in a rush to get to it. Don't listen to stupid things people say to be hurtful. Don't be a follower and be proud of who you are!
My kids are all almost grown, Yes I had them very early and that's one thing I am thankful they did not repeat. I believe my children have taken notice to how hard it is to be a parent and are in no rush to get there, THANK GOODNESS! I am older now and those things don't matter anymore to me that happened. We all grew up and became better people. Some didn't but hey, that's on them and no one is perfect. I am no where near perfect, but I had that common sense to teach my kids what to look for. I am proud of the individuals who they have become. I can be at ease knowing that my words did sink in some and they valued what I had to say.
I raised my children without their father and I think I did a good enough job. In times that we have now, and how the economy is, I taught them to be smart about things, and now that my oldest daughter is looking for work and starting her senior year in high school, she understands a little better and appreciates things. I know that in years from now, when she has her own family, she can pass it on and I can smile.
I say this in taking note on how some kids today act, and worry that our future generation was not or is not being raised with those lessons or values. Lets not forget that these are the same people we need to depend on when we are older. Lets teach them that they need to work for what they get, rewards are not and should not be handed to you unless they are earned. Teach them to give back, either by service or paying it forward. Do something that might help someone, you never know what that kindness can do for that one person.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Not invited? NYC officials turn their backs on first responders.
The events of September 11th 2001 are something that will never be forgotten by anyone. That morning at 8:46 Hijacked American Airlines flight 11 bound for Los Angeles, hit the north tower of the World Trade center, at 8:46 am our lives were all changed. No matter where we were, what we were doing, we all felt the impact and the sadness of that day. On the morning of September 11th 2001, the first responders of NYC did what they have done their entire careers, they responded to a call!
9:03 am United Airlines flight 175 bound for Los Angeles hit the south tower of the World Trade center, now we know its an attack and New York City and our country is in a panic, yet the first responders, without a doubt had already sprung into action here in the city, racing into buildings, carrying out the wounded, assisting those who were trying to escape and attempting to rescue anyone else they possibly could. Their lives being at risk not the main priority, still pushing forward to do what they had vowed, to protect and to serve. They didn't show up by invite, they were just there.
Two hijacked flights hit NYC that day, American Airlines flight number 77 hit the Pentagon at 9:38 and a final hijacked United Airlines flight 93 , which was over taken by the brave passengers who gave their lives to not allow another hit happen that morning crashed into a field at 10:10 ending the terror from the skies that morning.
We have never forgotten the events, and we have not forgotten those that risked their lives, that gave their lives doing what they were trained to do. We honor these brave ones every year and mourn the lives that were taken that morning, however this year NYC officials decided that those first responders who survived, who were wounded that day are not invited to the 10th Anniversary of the attacks. I was not here on that morning as I did not yet live here until 2004, but I was still affect by those events as were so many other Americans. As a loved one of a NYC Detective who served in the recovery efforts of those who died, I am disgusted and angered by the moronic decision of the NYC officials for the obvious slap in the face to the first responders. What in the HELL are you thinking?
Those men and women didn't come by invite, to risk their lives, to lose their lives. They didn't sit around and wait for someone to tell them to go, they just did it. Why? Because that is why they became who they are, who they were! I am angered beyond words by something that is so heartless. New York Daily News reported that a city official stated that there is no room, that security issues are involved and that the first responders will be given a ceremony at a later date. WHAT? Again, these men and women who gave their lives, who risked being wounded or killed did not give a second thought! Security issues? I'm sorry, I would not say that thousands of men and women who are paid officers to carry fire arms daily would be an issue, I say that would be an asset.
So there you have it, a city who is turning their backs on the bravest of 9/11. NYC has again delivered a blow to the gut of these people who live with the images from that day. These men and women are affected beyond what any of us could ever begin to understand. They lost hundreds of their co-workers, they lost loved ones and they still carried on. These people continue to do their jobs, to keep us safe, to save our lives, and they don't even get hazard pay. Yet a garbage man who risks nothing but maybe a strained muscle or coming face to face with a dog sized rat, does.
I can say that when we leave NYC, we will not be sorry. This city has done nothing but continue to see what and how they can take away from those who were there, who pushed on selfless, to protect the city they use to love.
On September 11th 2011, the 10th Anniversary of the Terror attacks, when you are remembering those who have died also remember those who continue to serve. NYC officials have seemed to forgotten.
9:03 am United Airlines flight 175 bound for Los Angeles hit the south tower of the World Trade center, now we know its an attack and New York City and our country is in a panic, yet the first responders, without a doubt had already sprung into action here in the city, racing into buildings, carrying out the wounded, assisting those who were trying to escape and attempting to rescue anyone else they possibly could. Their lives being at risk not the main priority, still pushing forward to do what they had vowed, to protect and to serve. They didn't show up by invite, they were just there.
Two hijacked flights hit NYC that day, American Airlines flight number 77 hit the Pentagon at 9:38 and a final hijacked United Airlines flight 93 , which was over taken by the brave passengers who gave their lives to not allow another hit happen that morning crashed into a field at 10:10 ending the terror from the skies that morning.
We have never forgotten the events, and we have not forgotten those that risked their lives, that gave their lives doing what they were trained to do. We honor these brave ones every year and mourn the lives that were taken that morning, however this year NYC officials decided that those first responders who survived, who were wounded that day are not invited to the 10th Anniversary of the attacks. I was not here on that morning as I did not yet live here until 2004, but I was still affect by those events as were so many other Americans. As a loved one of a NYC Detective who served in the recovery efforts of those who died, I am disgusted and angered by the moronic decision of the NYC officials for the obvious slap in the face to the first responders. What in the HELL are you thinking?
Those men and women didn't come by invite, to risk their lives, to lose their lives. They didn't sit around and wait for someone to tell them to go, they just did it. Why? Because that is why they became who they are, who they were! I am angered beyond words by something that is so heartless. New York Daily News reported that a city official stated that there is no room, that security issues are involved and that the first responders will be given a ceremony at a later date. WHAT? Again, these men and women who gave their lives, who risked being wounded or killed did not give a second thought! Security issues? I'm sorry, I would not say that thousands of men and women who are paid officers to carry fire arms daily would be an issue, I say that would be an asset.
So there you have it, a city who is turning their backs on the bravest of 9/11. NYC has again delivered a blow to the gut of these people who live with the images from that day. These men and women are affected beyond what any of us could ever begin to understand. They lost hundreds of their co-workers, they lost loved ones and they still carried on. These people continue to do their jobs, to keep us safe, to save our lives, and they don't even get hazard pay. Yet a garbage man who risks nothing but maybe a strained muscle or coming face to face with a dog sized rat, does.
I can say that when we leave NYC, we will not be sorry. This city has done nothing but continue to see what and how they can take away from those who were there, who pushed on selfless, to protect the city they use to love.
On September 11th 2011, the 10th Anniversary of the Terror attacks, when you are remembering those who have died also remember those who continue to serve. NYC officials have seemed to forgotten.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
You are in control of you..
So where did that person go? I would say that I started to lose who I was right after my divorce. Was I sad? OH HELL NO! When my divorce was final I walked out of the court house with the biggest smile and the song that was playing from a car passing by was " I'm Free" by Jon Secada. I think that was just a coincidence but.....it was fitting for the moment. After that I left and it just seemed that I got wrapped up in what everyone else said I should do or what I should be. But I am me, I was never this stressed or bothered about things before.My feelings about things were, Yeah OK, and? So that's what I need to do now.
I know I can do whatever I want and what I put my mind to, so whats next? Well I am getting back into writing and I want to do what I always dreamed of, write a screenplay! I love science fiction! In the 5th grade, my favorite show was "V" , when I was little, I loved the movie "Close encounters of the third kind" and now I can act on those dreams.
I don't care if someone thinks its a stupid idea, sit back and say, Yeah OK whatever. I know what I can do, and I have had experience writing. I have won awards and contests. I have wrote plays for church. If Robert Rodriguez can do it, why cant I?
This is what makes me happy! I am a part of a team, someone who believes in my ideas and even though sometimes an idea may be off, it always leads to something we both can agree on! This is going to happen! This movie will be made. When it comes together and it will,I will feel complete! Thank you for believing in me and inspiring me. Without your dream, my dreams would still be asleep.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
My little Girl
My daughters will always be mommas little girls, no matter how old they are. My daughter Tiffany was my first daughter but my second child. She had a rough start getting into the world, with the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, labor was not easy at all and I was scared to death I would lose her. She bounced back very quick, strong and determined just like she is today.
Tiffany turned 18 on March 9th of this year. I cant believe how fast the time has flown by since I held her in my arms, her beautiful grey eyes beaming back at me with her chubby little cheeks. Now she is a Senior in high school and starts school in 2 weeks. She is going south to start her last year with my sister. I think she is the one child out of the 3 that looks the most like me. She is very talented and loves to draw. She had recently been working with one of her teachers doing illustrations for a story her teacher made up and just last week finished working on the 2nd book. I couldn't be more proud of her. I know if she kept it up she could really make something of it.
She has such a pleasing personality and is very sensitive with some things, but at the same time extremely strong. Saturday she will be leaving and it makes me kind of sad, but I wont be away from her for long and in June she will be graduating. She isn't the tiny little chubby cheeked blonde baby anymore, she is a beautiful young woman, nervous about going out into the world as an adult, but excited to discover things for herself. I have tried the best I can to teach her about the world and she knows that she can come to me with whatever at any time and I will always be there. I feel like I am letting go of the tiny little hand that use to hold onto mine and watching a young woman grow even faster before my eyes. I love all of my children, but Tiffany is on my mind the most tonight! I love you Tiffany Marie!
Love always,
Momma
Tiffany turned 18 on March 9th of this year. I cant believe how fast the time has flown by since I held her in my arms, her beautiful grey eyes beaming back at me with her chubby little cheeks. Now she is a Senior in high school and starts school in 2 weeks. She is going south to start her last year with my sister. I think she is the one child out of the 3 that looks the most like me. She is very talented and loves to draw. She had recently been working with one of her teachers doing illustrations for a story her teacher made up and just last week finished working on the 2nd book. I couldn't be more proud of her. I know if she kept it up she could really make something of it.
She has such a pleasing personality and is very sensitive with some things, but at the same time extremely strong. Saturday she will be leaving and it makes me kind of sad, but I wont be away from her for long and in June she will be graduating. She isn't the tiny little chubby cheeked blonde baby anymore, she is a beautiful young woman, nervous about going out into the world as an adult, but excited to discover things for herself. I have tried the best I can to teach her about the world and she knows that she can come to me with whatever at any time and I will always be there. I feel like I am letting go of the tiny little hand that use to hold onto mine and watching a young woman grow even faster before my eyes. I love all of my children, but Tiffany is on my mind the most tonight! I love you Tiffany Marie!
Love always,
Momma
Friday, July 15, 2011
My Grandfather is my Superman.
My grandfather in my eyes is Superman. He isn't perfect, but he has always there and taught me many lessons through the years. Right now he is very ill and very weak which breaks my heart in a million pieces. He is my Superman, my Hero. I talked to my mother today and she updated me on how he is and things are very serious right now. He needs a pacemaker and some work on his kidneys and the arteries in his neck. I am not use to my grandfather, Charles E. Wilson Sr, being so weak and sick.
I remember my grandfather when I was little, how he always found a lesson in every thing to teach me, no matter what it was, and everywhere he went I followed. He has always been very stern, and at the same time was very loving. If he spanked me, you could see in his eyes it was breaking his heart. He would explain why he was doing it and that he loved me very much, but what I did was wrong.
When my sister was born it was a very tough time for my grandparents, my uncle Terry had just been killed in a car accident just a few months before. They had moved into a new home and were still numb from shock. My grandfather did what he could to care for us all, with his heart still breaking he carried on and remained strong.
One day, he went out to chop wood for the fireplace. I think it was either late November or early December because there was a little snow on the ground. He headed out with his ax to go down the road little to find a tree that was good to cut up for firewood. As he was walking out the door, I screamed " papa wait for me!", running to get my socks and boots on. I grabbed my little wagon and ran down the drive way to catch up. At the end of the drive way we walked up the hill a little and found a downed tree that was good to chop. While he split the wood, he told me to stand back so I wouldn't get hit by the flying chips, so I sat in my wagon and watched him swing away. I happened to look down and there at my feet was a tiny little turtle, frozen. I screamed because I didn't want it to be dead, so I grabbed the turtle, tucked it in my pocket and told him I would be right back.
I ran into the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking and she asked what I was doing, I told her I needed warm water. There was a little sink by the back door where she put warm water in for me and walked back to tend to breakfast. I placed the little turtle in the water and swished it around, trying to make it move. My grandma finally came over to see what I was doing when she heard me cry. She said, " Janet Lee, what in the world are you doing, throw that thing outside". I told my grandma that it was frozen and I was trying to make it warm. She told me there was nothing I could do, just take it out or maybe bury it and wrapped it in a little cloth for me. My grandma hated for insects, lizards or anything else in that nature to be inside of the house, but she understood.
I walked back to where my grandpa was crying, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get the turtle to breathe. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him, unwrapping the lifeless turtle and holding it in my little hands. I asked him if we could bury him so the animals would not eat him. He dug a small hole and we placed him in the cloth and covered him . Later when we were back at the house, I was still very weepy. I crawled into his lap and put my arms around his neck. He explained that in life, all things would eventually die, even if they were young. I remember tears being in his eyes while he talked, but at the time I didn't understand that he also meant my uncle. I sat in his lap and he held me there, telling me that the turtle knew that I loved it and not to worry. I fell asleep in my grandfathers arms, feeling safe as always and very loved.
My grandfather has always been a very hard working man, always taking care of his family. He is like a father to me, in every thing he did and the lessons that he taught. Now my grandfather is getting older and he isn't as strong. We never had a ton of money and but what we had he always hard for. I thank God for that man because he is part of he reason I am who I am today. He taught us that life is what you make it, but work hard and be happy with what you are given because life is too short.
I don't plan on seeing anything happen to him anytime soon. He is stubborn and wont give up that easy and that is one of the things I really admire about him.
Grandpa, you mean the world to me, you have me more in life lessons than all the money in the world, and for that I feel like the richest person alive. I love you more than I can ever put into words.
I remember my grandfather when I was little, how he always found a lesson in every thing to teach me, no matter what it was, and everywhere he went I followed. He has always been very stern, and at the same time was very loving. If he spanked me, you could see in his eyes it was breaking his heart. He would explain why he was doing it and that he loved me very much, but what I did was wrong.
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| Me, my grandparents and uncles 1974 |
When my sister was born it was a very tough time for my grandparents, my uncle Terry had just been killed in a car accident just a few months before. They had moved into a new home and were still numb from shock. My grandfather did what he could to care for us all, with his heart still breaking he carried on and remained strong.
One day, he went out to chop wood for the fireplace. I think it was either late November or early December because there was a little snow on the ground. He headed out with his ax to go down the road little to find a tree that was good to cut up for firewood. As he was walking out the door, I screamed " papa wait for me!", running to get my socks and boots on. I grabbed my little wagon and ran down the drive way to catch up. At the end of the drive way we walked up the hill a little and found a downed tree that was good to chop. While he split the wood, he told me to stand back so I wouldn't get hit by the flying chips, so I sat in my wagon and watched him swing away. I happened to look down and there at my feet was a tiny little turtle, frozen. I screamed because I didn't want it to be dead, so I grabbed the turtle, tucked it in my pocket and told him I would be right back.
I ran into the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking and she asked what I was doing, I told her I needed warm water. There was a little sink by the back door where she put warm water in for me and walked back to tend to breakfast. I placed the little turtle in the water and swished it around, trying to make it move. My grandma finally came over to see what I was doing when she heard me cry. She said, " Janet Lee, what in the world are you doing, throw that thing outside". I told my grandma that it was frozen and I was trying to make it warm. She told me there was nothing I could do, just take it out or maybe bury it and wrapped it in a little cloth for me. My grandma hated for insects, lizards or anything else in that nature to be inside of the house, but she understood.
I walked back to where my grandpa was crying, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get the turtle to breathe. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him, unwrapping the lifeless turtle and holding it in my little hands. I asked him if we could bury him so the animals would not eat him. He dug a small hole and we placed him in the cloth and covered him . Later when we were back at the house, I was still very weepy. I crawled into his lap and put my arms around his neck. He explained that in life, all things would eventually die, even if they were young. I remember tears being in his eyes while he talked, but at the time I didn't understand that he also meant my uncle. I sat in his lap and he held me there, telling me that the turtle knew that I loved it and not to worry. I fell asleep in my grandfathers arms, feeling safe as always and very loved.
My grandfather has always been a very hard working man, always taking care of his family. He is like a father to me, in every thing he did and the lessons that he taught. Now my grandfather is getting older and he isn't as strong. We never had a ton of money and but what we had he always hard for. I thank God for that man because he is part of he reason I am who I am today. He taught us that life is what you make it, but work hard and be happy with what you are given because life is too short.
I don't plan on seeing anything happen to him anytime soon. He is stubborn and wont give up that easy and that is one of the things I really admire about him.
Grandpa, you mean the world to me, you have me more in life lessons than all the money in the world, and for that I feel like the richest person alive. I love you more than I can ever put into words.
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| My grandparents before they were married |
Sunday, July 10, 2011
On the road to a new and improved me!
So yesterday I started a appetite control medication my Dr prescribed after me asking for it. Why would I take it when there are so many ways of losing weight and not needing medication? Well its simple, STRESS! Yes, that's right people, plain and simple, stress defeats me when it comes to losing weight.
Everyone is different and sometimes we just need a little boost to achieve our goals. I had zero energy, no desire to do anything and I was tired all the time. People might say its depression, but I don't think so. I get frustrated when I am trying to work hard towards something and no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, being told that no I cant, I did the one thing I could do, eat.
I did do the Fat Loss for Idiots and I lost about 20 lbs, but I had a hard time getting over that slump. I think that when you have a larger goal than others when it comes to this subject, that is just something that is not the best to start with, maybe later after you get over that hump, but not just yet. Yesterday I took my first dose, and I completely understand why she told me NO COFFEE! WOW!!!!! There is no need for caffeine at all, this gives you a kick in the ass to get you going and makes you feel fantastic! Not only do I have more energy and feel hungry less, but I feel happier and finally want to focus on things that I had not been able to previously.
I know I have a long way to go, but I believe for myself I chose the right path to helping me achieve my weight loss goal. I know that once I can get past that hump I wasn't able to before, my confidence and will power will return, the stress will go down and I can look at things or people that stand in my way, and either conquer them or give them the finger basically and move on.
Like it or not, I am changing and for the good, so watch out world, I have goals to achieve!
Everyone is different and sometimes we just need a little boost to achieve our goals. I had zero energy, no desire to do anything and I was tired all the time. People might say its depression, but I don't think so. I get frustrated when I am trying to work hard towards something and no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, being told that no I cant, I did the one thing I could do, eat.
I did do the Fat Loss for Idiots and I lost about 20 lbs, but I had a hard time getting over that slump. I think that when you have a larger goal than others when it comes to this subject, that is just something that is not the best to start with, maybe later after you get over that hump, but not just yet. Yesterday I took my first dose, and I completely understand why she told me NO COFFEE! WOW!!!!! There is no need for caffeine at all, this gives you a kick in the ass to get you going and makes you feel fantastic! Not only do I have more energy and feel hungry less, but I feel happier and finally want to focus on things that I had not been able to previously.
I know I have a long way to go, but I believe for myself I chose the right path to helping me achieve my weight loss goal. I know that once I can get past that hump I wasn't able to before, my confidence and will power will return, the stress will go down and I can look at things or people that stand in my way, and either conquer them or give them the finger basically and move on.
Like it or not, I am changing and for the good, so watch out world, I have goals to achieve!
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