Not invited? NYC officials turn their backs on first responders.

The events of September 11th 2001 are something that will never be forgotten by anyone. That morning at 8:46 Hijacked American Airlines flight 11 bound for Los Angeles, hit the north tower of the World Trade center, at 8:46 am our lives were all changed. No matter where we were, what we were doing, we all felt the impact and the sadness of that day. On the morning of September 11th 2001, the first responders of NYC did what they have done their entire careers, they responded to a call!

9:03 am United Airlines flight 175 bound for Los Angeles hit the south tower of the World Trade center, now we know its an attack and New York City and our country is in a panic, yet the first responders, without a doubt had already sprung into action here in the city, racing into buildings, carrying out the wounded, assisting those who were trying to escape and attempting to rescue anyone else they possibly could. Their lives being at risk not the main priority, still pushing forward to do what they had vowed, to protect and to serve. They didn't show up by invite, they were just there.

Two hijacked flights hit NYC that day, American Airlines flight number 77 hit the Pentagon at 9:38 and a final hijacked United Airlines flight 93 , which was over taken by the brave passengers who gave their lives to not allow another hit happen that morning crashed into a field at 10:10 ending the terror from the skies that morning.

We have never forgotten the events, and we have not forgotten those that risked their lives, that gave their lives doing what they were trained to do. We honor these brave ones every year and mourn the lives that  were taken that morning, however this year NYC officials decided that those first responders who survived, who were wounded that day are not invited to the 10th Anniversary of the attacks. I was not here on that morning as I did not yet live here until 2004, but I was still affect by those events as were so many other Americans. As a loved one of a NYC Detective  who served in the recovery efforts of those who died, I am disgusted and angered by the moronic decision of the NYC officials for the obvious slap in the face to the first responders. What in the HELL are you thinking?

Those men and women didn't come by invite, to risk their lives, to lose their lives. They didn't sit around and wait for someone to tell them to go, they just did it. Why? Because that is why they became who they are, who they were! I am angered beyond words by something that is so heartless. New York Daily News reported that a city official stated that there is no room, that security issues are involved and that the first responders will be given a ceremony at a later date. WHAT? Again, these men and women who gave their lives, who risked being wounded or killed did not give a second thought! Security issues? I'm sorry, I would not say that thousands of men and women who are paid officers to carry fire arms daily would be an issue, I say that would be an asset.

So there you have it, a city who is turning their backs on the bravest of 9/11. NYC has again delivered a blow to the gut of these people who live with the images from that day. These men and women are affected beyond what any of us could ever begin to understand. They lost hundreds of their co-workers, they lost loved ones and they still carried on. These people continue to do their jobs, to keep us safe, to save our lives, and they don't even get hazard pay. Yet a garbage man who risks nothing but maybe a strained muscle or coming face to face with a dog sized rat, does.

I can say that when we leave NYC, we will not be sorry. This city has done nothing but continue to see what and how they can take away from those who were there, who pushed on selfless, to protect the city they use to love.

On September 11th 2011, the 10th Anniversary of the Terror attacks, when you are remembering those who have died also remember those who continue to serve. NYC  officials have seemed to forgotten.

You are in control of you..

This can not be more true! You are the pilot of your destiny. I think I really needed to see that after the experiences I have been having at work. You cant wait for someone or something to make you happy, to make things happen. I remember the days that I would not settle for NO! I would take that and find another way to accomplish what I needed to do.

So where did that person go? I would say that I started to lose who I was right after my divorce. Was I sad? OH HELL NO! When my divorce was final I walked out of the court house with the biggest smile and the song that was playing from a car passing by was " I'm Free" by Jon Secada. I think that was just a coincidence but.....it was fitting for the moment. After that I left and it just seemed that I got wrapped up in what everyone else said I should do or what I should be.  But I am me, I was never this stressed or bothered about things before.My feelings about things were, Yeah OK, and? So that's what I need to do now.

I know I can do whatever I want and what I put my mind to, so whats next? Well I am getting back into writing and I want to do what I always dreamed of, write a screenplay! I love science fiction! In the 5th grade, my favorite show was "V" , when I was little, I loved the movie "Close encounters of the third kind" and now I can act on those dreams.

I don't care if someone thinks its a stupid idea, sit back and say, Yeah OK whatever. I know what I can do, and I have had experience writing. I have won awards and contests. I have wrote plays for church. If Robert Rodriguez can do it, why cant I?

This is what makes me happy! I am a part of a team, someone who believes in my ideas and even though sometimes an idea may be off, it always leads to something we both can agree on! This is going to happen! This movie will be made. When it comes together and it will,I will feel complete! Thank you for believing in me and inspiring me. Without your dream, my dreams would still be asleep.

My little Girl

My daughters will always be mommas little girls, no matter how old they are. My daughter Tiffany was my first daughter but my second child. She had a rough start getting into the world, with the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, labor was not easy at all and I was scared to death I would lose her. She bounced back very quick, strong and determined just like she is today.

Tiffany turned 18 on March 9th of this year. I cant believe how fast the time has flown by since I held her in my arms, her beautiful grey eyes beaming back at me with her chubby little cheeks. Now she is a Senior in high school and starts school in 2 weeks. She is going south to start her last year with my sister. I think she is the one child out of the 3 that looks the most like me. She is very talented and loves to draw. She had recently been working with one of her teachers doing illustrations for a story her teacher made up and just last week finished working on the 2nd book. I couldn't be more proud of her. I know if she kept it up she could really make something of it.

She has such a pleasing personality and is very sensitive with some things, but at the same time extremely strong. Saturday she will be leaving and it makes me kind of sad, but I wont be away from her for long and in June she will be graduating. She isn't the tiny little chubby cheeked blonde baby anymore, she is a beautiful young woman, nervous about going out into the world as an adult, but excited to discover things for herself. I have tried the best I can to teach her about the world and she knows that she can come to me with whatever at any time and I will always be there. I feel like I am letting go of the tiny little hand that use to hold onto mine and watching a young woman grow even faster before my eyes. I love all of my children, but  Tiffany is on my mind the most tonight! I love you Tiffany Marie!



Love always,

Momma

My Grandfather is my Superman.

My grandfather in my eyes is Superman. He isn't perfect, but he has always there and taught me many lessons through  the years. Right now he is very ill and very weak which breaks my heart in a million pieces. He is my Superman, my Hero. I talked to my mother today and she updated me on how he is and things are very serious right now. He needs a pacemaker and some work on his kidneys and the arteries in his neck. I am not use to my grandfather, Charles E. Wilson Sr, being so weak and sick.


I remember my grandfather when I was little, how he always found a lesson in every thing to teach me, no matter what it was, and everywhere he went I followed. He has always been very stern, and at the same time was very loving. If he spanked me, you could see in his eyes it was breaking his heart. He would explain why he was doing it and that he loved me very much, but what I did was wrong.

Me, my grandparents and uncles 1974

When my sister was born it was a very tough time for my grandparents, my uncle Terry had just been killed in a car accident just a few months before. They had moved into a new home and were still numb from shock. My grandfather did what he could to care for us all, with his heart still breaking he carried on and remained strong. 


One day, he went out to chop wood for the fireplace. I think it was either late November or early December because there was a little snow on the ground. He headed out with his ax to go down the road little to find a tree that was good to cut up for firewood. As he was walking out the door, I screamed " papa wait for me!", running to get my socks and boots on. I grabbed my little wagon and ran down the drive way to catch up. At the end of the drive way we walked up the hill a little and found a downed tree that was good to chop. While he split the wood, he told me to stand back so I wouldn't get hit by the flying chips, so I sat in my wagon and watched him swing away. I happened to look down and there at my feet was a tiny little turtle, frozen. I screamed because I didn't want it to be dead, so I grabbed the turtle, tucked it in my pocket and told him I would be right back.


I ran into the kitchen where my grandmother was cooking and she asked what I was doing, I told her I needed warm water. There was a little sink by the back door where she put warm water in for me and walked back to tend to breakfast. I placed the little turtle in the water and swished it around, trying to make it move. My grandma finally came over to see what I was doing when she heard me cry. She said, " Janet Lee, what in the world are you doing, throw that thing outside". I told my grandma that it was frozen and I was trying to make it warm. She told me there was nothing I could do, just take it out or maybe bury it and wrapped it in a little cloth for me. My grandma hated for insects, lizards or anything else in that nature to be inside of the house, but she understood.


I walked back to where my grandpa was crying, I couldn't understand why I couldn't get the turtle to breathe. My grandpa asked what happened and I told him, unwrapping the lifeless turtle and holding it in my little hands. I asked him if we could bury him so the animals would not eat him. He dug a small hole and we placed him in the cloth and covered him . Later when we were back at the house, I was still very weepy. I crawled into his lap and put my arms around his neck. He explained that in life, all things would eventually die, even if they were young. I remember tears being in his eyes while he talked, but at the time I didn't understand that he also meant my uncle. I sat in his lap and he held me there, telling me that the turtle knew that I loved it and not to worry. I fell asleep in my grandfathers arms, feeling safe as always and very loved.

My grandfather has always been a very hard working man, always taking care of his family. He is like a father to me, in every thing he did and the lessons that he taught. Now my grandfather is getting older and he isn't as strong. We never had a ton of money and but what we had he always hard for. I thank God for that man because he is part of he reason I am who I am today. He taught us that life is what you make it, but work hard and be happy with what you are given because life is too short. 


I don't plan on seeing anything happen to him anytime soon. He is stubborn and wont give up that easy and that is one of the things I really admire about him.


Grandpa, you mean the world to me, you have me more in life lessons than all the money in the world, and for that I feel like the richest person alive. I love you more than I can ever put into words.

My grandparents before they were married

On the road to a new and improved me!

So yesterday I started a appetite control medication my Dr prescribed after me asking for it. Why would I take it when there are so many ways of losing weight and not needing medication? Well its simple, STRESS! Yes, that's right people, plain and simple, stress defeats me when it comes to losing weight.

Everyone is different and sometimes we just need a little boost to achieve our goals. I had zero energy, no desire to do anything and I was tired all the time. People might say its depression, but I don't think so. I get frustrated when I am trying to work hard towards something and no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, being told that no I cant, I did the one thing I could do, eat.

I did do the Fat Loss for Idiots and I lost about 20 lbs, but I had a hard time getting over that slump. I think that when you have a larger goal than others when it comes to this subject, that is just something that is not the best to start with, maybe later after you get over that hump, but not just yet. Yesterday I took my first dose, and I completely understand why she told me NO COFFEE! WOW!!!!! There is no need for caffeine at all, this gives you a kick in the ass to get you going and makes you feel fantastic! Not only do I have more energy and feel hungry less, but I feel happier and finally want to focus on things that I had not been able to previously.

I know I have a long way to go, but I believe for myself I chose the right path to helping me achieve my weight loss goal. I know that once I can get past that hump I wasn't able to before, my confidence and will power will return, the stress will go down and I can look at things or people that stand in my way, and either conquer them or give them the finger basically and move on.

Like it or not, I am changing and for the good, so watch out world, I have goals to achieve!

My personal battle: Fear

Fear:
–noun

1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

 

So you might ask what I have to be afraid of, right? This is very hard for me, to write it out, to put it all out there. I have battled through a lot of things in my life, too many to count but why be afraid? And what is it I am afraid of? Its a good question, and I deal with this at different times in my life. Sometimes I can just brush it off as a silly worry, other times I doubt if I will make it through whatever I am dealing with. 

The only thing I can say that could be a reason is that I am afraid of losing whatever is going well for me. Before I have  fought hard to get to accomplish something, feel good about it only to have it ripped away from me to feel helpless. This has happened over and over to a point that now, although things are going well, I still am afraid .

Its frustrating to feel this, I don't like it at all. I have always tried to be strong, and I have remained strong through some of the toughest things in my life, yet right now, I don't have anything to worry about. I have a lot to look forward to coming up, finally having a home that I own, a potential to start my own business and finally have control over when I want to go on vacation and not have to listen to others.

But here it is, poking at me, making me wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. Well its just something I need to deal with, I am a strong and loving person. I don't take no for an answer, I just look for another way to get to my goal. I need to try and stick to one thing at a time. There is so much I missed out on at times in my life that now I have the potential to accomplish, I want to do it all at once, because lets face it I am not getting any younger.

So here I go battling on, forcing my confidence to the front, because I will not let my fear win. Its just a slow process and I have to ask those close to me to be patient, because I know it will all be okay and I will get through this.

 

 

 

 

Ding dong Osamas dead! A warning to his network. You will go down!

A date that will never be forgotten, May 1st 2011. A day in history books that will carry on for generations. The beast who started an organization in 1988 met his end on May 1st 2011. Osama Bin Laden ordered the attack on the USA on September 11th 2001 that left our country in shock, panic, and sadness. He took away families and destroyed lives, and even put a dent in our economy. There is one thing he forgot about. This is the USA, we get knocked down but we stand back up and fight, guess he didn't know about Pearl Harbor?

We have one hell of a strong military, we have the determination to rebuild and stand together and we have a temper! Our military has hunted him down and its been an extremely long fight. Our soldiers lost their lives in the hunt, were injured in battles but carried on their mission, find Osama and end his life. They fought along other soldiers from other countries with the same mission, keep this from happening again and keep our families safe!


All I can think is that he must have been way too cocky to think he would never be found. We didn't drop an atomic bomb on him, but he got what he had coming, a bullet to the brain. That bullet that killed him , shot by one brave Navy Seal's weapon from a group of courageous Navy seals carried the names of those who died in NYC, Washington D.C. and that field  in PA. It carried the will of the families who lost their loved ones, the Police, EMS, Transit Authority officers and Fire fighters who worked together to find the remains of those lives that were lost. It carried the determination of our nation to find him and to destroy what he built.

On May 1st 2011, a great thing happened, the beast was taken out but we aren't done. That's right, our military will not sleep until his entire network in just a bad memory. So to those who plan to carry out his mission take note, the world is still looking for you, we stand together and we will wipe you out!


To those who died on September 11th 2001, may you Rest In Peace!