How I knew I was meant to work in the medical field

There are things that we do in life that we just know that we were meant to do, to be there in that moment or on that journey. I believe all the struggle that I went through once I moved back to Florida lead me to what I was destined to do. I looked everywhere to find a job believing that all of the experience I had for so many years, someone would surely scoop me up right away and boy was I wrong. Not knowing what to do, I found myself at a cross road in my life, and unsure where to go next. I decided that it was now or never, go back to school and finish what I had tried to begin all those years ago, and due to lack of support was unable to complete.

I decided that I would enroll in the Medical Assisting program at Keiser University, unsure that this late in life I could be successful at Nursing. My nervousness began to leave as I began making top grades in everything I learned, however still slightly unsure that I could do this or that I was even going the right direction. At the end of my core classes I began my MA externship, which is a type of field training to get you ready for putting your skills to use in the real world. Was I ready for it? Well it was just too late to back down, so nerves in all I jumped into my first day, and the next and the next. The days got easier as I floated to different departments, working with new people, meeting all kinds of patients and learning that I was really good at what I was doing, even with a limit set to what I could do as a student.

I have excelled in all that I do, and some days just being the hand a patient holds because they are scared and just need the support was more rewarding than I thought it could ever be. I was happy to go in every day and work so hard that I passed out as soon as I sat down at home, not being paid but so very happy at the same time. That is the moment that I knew, and I am now confident that I can move on to Nursing because that is where my destiny is leading me, and I am now months away from graduating with my Associates in Science Degree in Medical Assisting.

The road ahead is wide open, ready to take me where ever I want to go. I got here without anyone forcing me into it and just little support from those who matter, but I did it and I will keep on going. It's the little rewards that keep me going, the smile from a difficult patient, the hug from an elderly lady who was so afraid, the inspiring story of hope from a nurse who beat cancer and the feeling I get when I sit in my truck so tired from a long day, but I feel like I did something important today and it is why I will continue on the path I am now. Never give up, it is never too late to achieve your goals and dreams.

The Race War: It will keep going until we stop those who are supporting it!

I read something this morning that is really disturbing and honestly I am not shocked. What is happening around this country is sad and it wont be resolved until everyone starts to learn to put race aside. A friend post an article about artists who are touring in the state of Florida and have canceled their tour dates to boycott the stand your ground law. Justin Timberlake said this

"I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN A STATE WHO'S GOVERNMENT ALLOWS PEOPLE TO SHOOT-N-KILL UN-ARMED TEENAGERS!" 

I fully understand being passionate about something I believe in and not supporting something that is against what I believe, but come on really? Do you honestly think that the state government of Florida gives two shits if you cancel your shitty concerts anyway? I love him as a comedian, he is a funny guy but to me his music is crap! Others joining this so called boycott are :

MARY - MARY, ROD STEWART , EDDIE LEVERT, MAZE/FRANKIE BEVERLY , PATTI LABELLE , PARLIAMENT/FUNKADELIC ,THE ROLLING STONES, MADONNA , ALISHIA KEYS, USHER, WILL.I.AM, R. KELLY , TREY SONGZ, RIHANA, ERYKAH BADU, MARY J. BLIGE , "JAY-Z" , "KANYE WEST", WALE' , YOUNG JEEZY, CHARLIE WILSON, JOE, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, CIARA, KELLY ROWLAND, KEYSHIA COLE

Now, here is my thought, some might agree, some may not but.... WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS!!! Not only does the government NOT CARE that they are canceling but these people and others think they will hurt the already bad economy in Florida and cause the government to change their mind on the stand your ground law. SERIOUSLY? Your a special kind of stupid aren't you? Here is what else is wrong with their thinking. First a large percentage of the state of Florida population is....you guess it, ELDERLY! The first few on that list have their foot in the grave anyway, so Uh not really well thought out. Another thing is while the government does not give a crap that you are canceling, you didn't think about the people who work those venues did you? No, I am pretty sure that was not given a thought at all. So while your mad at the government, the young woman who has to work to support her children because her husband was killed protecting this country over seas will have one day less on her pay. That 18 year old boy who is working hard to get money saved for college so he can get out of his shitty neighborhood has one day less on his pay towards his goal. Their race? Does that really matter? They are human!

You are not punishing the Florida government, you are punishing the people who have to work in these places during the concerts. Where is this all coming from? The people who want to keep this going as a race war because they are raking in the money to keep this going. The media, The Reverend Al Sharpton and  The Reverend Jesse Jackson and a countless list who are not in this because they really believe in it, its because they want racism to keep going! Do you think Martin Luther King Jr would agree with what they are doing? No I don't think so. He wanted equality, he wanted peace and that has been sent to hell in a hand basket!

So Reverend Sharpton, Jackson, let me ask you this, do you think God would support what your doing? Do you think fanning the flames of racism is going to get you a spot in heaven? I thought that men of God were suppose to care for all people regardless of color? But do you see them supporting the mother of the 13 month old child Antonio Santiago, in Georgia who was shot and killed by the 2 teenagers that tried to rob her? Where is the outrage about the child dying? Did you even hear about it on the news? No you sure didn't. Did you hear of groups protesting the acquittal of Roderick Scott from Greece, NY? Nope sure didn't. Who is Roderick Scott? Never heard of him right? Pretty much the EXACT same thing that happened here in Florida with Zimmerman and Martin but the Roles were reversed, the victim was white and the shooter was black.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/22/us/georgia-baby-killed

http://rochester.ynn.com/content/top_stories/490926/jury-finds-roderick-scott-not-guilty/



Mr. Scott confronted the victim Chris Cervini who he thought was up to no good stealing cars in the neighborhood, he claims that Cervini charged at him and he shot him in self defense killing the 17 year old. I remember this case from when I lived in NY. Was the trial covered on CNN? Was it followed everyday by all the news stations? No. Were there riots, protesting, national unrest? No.

Do you follow me yet? I could go on and on with all the crimes in this country, and its not just white on black, black on white, its hispanic on hispanic, black on black, white on white. Its all of the above and more. This will not end with boycotting, that will not solve anything at all. What will is education, people working together. Riots, boycotts, protesting....does this help anything, has it helped anything? No. Is the media guilty of fanning the flames of the race war? Yes, do they tell the truth? No they do not. Its been proven over and over again, and yet people still believe all the bull.

So where are the Reverends protesting for the countless crimes against other races? Where are the stars that are boycotting the states where the crimes against others are committed? It's not happening and it will not happen. So how will this all stop? Education by people that care! You want to be passionate about it? First educate your children, teach them not to be racist. Go into the crime ridden communities and teach these kids something. They are full of ALL RACES! Give these kids something to look forward to, teach them skills that will help them out in the world. Start in the communities that need the help, give them something to do other than join gangs like the the bloods, crips and the latin kings. Educate them on not killing each other first, then to not kill others.

By the way, are these stars, these artists getting out going into the communities to help? Are they working to educate kids on not being racist? How about their albums and their movies? How many on that list and others not mentioned have that same word that Paula Deen was crucified over? No and yet they want to cancel their appearances their concerts and its hurting no one but the people who need to work that day to support their families. Bravo! You just attributed your ignorance towards the problem and not the solution. STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT BLACK AND WHITE! Taking away gun right will not stop killing. What are they going to protest knives, alcohol? baseball bats, box cutters, tire irons, cars? All things used to kill someone.  But who am I? Just one voice!

Remember the good times

Life, as we all know is way too short. My family has been reminded of the a little too much lately and again on April 5th, 2013. That day we lost another far too young. Madonna Lynn was beautiful in every way. She was not afraid to live life, to stand up to someone or to love. Madonna was one of my many cousins and she was indeed a rare gem.

For those who knew her, they are smiling as they read this and know what I mean. She had a personality bigger than life, a contagious smile, a laugh that would fill the room and just a blast to be around. We all have our downfalls and she struggled in life, but we all do at some point. I want to remember her for all the wonderful things I knew about her, that she was a good mother, that she loved her family, that she loved people for who they were and not the color of their skin, their status in life.

When I heard that she passed my heart was broken, I had thought about her so much lately. I feel bad that I didn't try to contact her, but I know that she knew I loved her very much. We had so many memories, and a few I shared with her mom the other night on the phone.  Late night card games, getting thrown out of the movie theatre, harassing her brothers, hanging out with our other cousins. I remember the last time I saw her which was far too long ago, she met me at the door with 2 margaritas in her had, gave one to me with a big smile on her face ( Yeah that was a fun weekend.) No matter when in life the memory is, it was a funny one.

We will all miss her. I can't really put into words what she meant to me, her kids, her mom, brothers and sister, fiance but I know we have another star in the sky now, one of the brightest in the sky shinning down on us always letting us know she is still there. Rest In Peace Madonna Lynn Harris- Eisnaugle, we love you always and forever.

Goodbye 2012. A year in review and what I have learned

So here we are at the end of another year. In a few short days we will be ringing in another year with our resolutions that we may or may not keep. We made it past the predicted end of the world, so we should make it count right? So how was your year looking back?

My year seemed to blow by so quickly that the last few days I have sat and reflected on it. We are in fact in a new cycle of life aren't we. Isn't that what the end of the Mayan calendar really meant? My 2012 had a mixture of ups and downs. I learned a lot this year, about myself, about people, about life. I am looking at 2013 with hopes that it will indeed be much better than 2012.

In March of this year we left our home in Brooklyn, NY and moved to Florida, not an unknown territory for me however, I was returning as a completely different person than when I left in 1996. We spent months searching for a house, purchased a new vehicle and moved into our new home and my oldest daughter graduated high school. Just in those short few months I learned so much and instead of stewing on it continuously I decided that I will just learn and throw it in the past. In less than a week I start a new chapter in my life. I am returning to school so I can finally get a career, a little late in the game but better late than never.

My family and I took an amazing cross country trip, I got to see and visit places I have only seen in pictures. We walked the Golden Gate Bridge, we drove down Lombard Street, spent time with some amazing people who I have so much love and respect for. I got to spend time with a friend who I had not seen in a few years, and learned so much about our country, and the Navajo people who are just amazing. What an amazing journey it was.

Fall seemed to be the beginning of what seems to be an unending nightmare. I say seems because it is still happening. We have lost so many people in our family since August, mostly to cancer, some to other illnesses but for the most part death has chosen cancer to be the breaker of hearts in our family. I honestly fear my phone ringing or getting a text. It seems like every time is bad news, and I don't see how I sleep at night. All the stress of losing loved ones has done nothing but caused me to have irritation in my stomach. Another person in my family is dying now, and again it is cancer. This person has been special in my life although we had grown apart. I recently got to speak to him and let him know that mistakes are made, and that I love him dearly. I wish I hadn't waited so long but we both come from a long line of stubbornness.

I know this, life is too short. Love those who truly love you, forget the fake people in your life. To be healthy you have to participate in life, lose stress if you can and go out and enjoy every single day. Shitty days will come and go, but what you do with it is up to you. If you want to lose weight, change the way you eat, but you also have to exercise and take care of yourself. The people who call themselves your friends, if they are they will be there no matter what, if they aren't they will slowly disappear. If that happens, let them go because people like that will only bring you down.

I am going to try in 2013 try to focus more on the good and less on the bad. I will try and focus more on my weight loss, making our home the way we want it, and just being happy. I forgot how to live in the last few years for letting other people into my head. In 2013 it will be about the new me and making my  little family happy. So what will you do? Make it count, your getting another chance to make your life fantastic, don't waste it, others do not have the ability. Love, Peace, Health and a Happy New Year to you all!

How to love yourself

This is a topic that will hit home with so many people, because when you think about it we really don't. So how do we love our self and how do we know we don't already? Good question! I can tell you from years of experience that I didn't and really had to learn on my own how to do this. Its very simple when you think about it, and all you need to do is remind yourself what to do.

The first step to loving yourself is doing something for you every day. I know you might say, " But I don't have time." Everyone has time! Take a walk in the evening, sit on your porch with a cup of tea, take a nice warm shower , have a glass of wine and listen to relaxing music. All of these things I have mentioned are just a few of many things you can do to relax and unwind. If you are stressed out all the time it really makes you feel down, can make your body do weird things and can ultimately lead to depression, trust me its all from my own experience. Do yourself a favor and start to do something for yourself, and keep a journal or a blog in no time you will see what a difference it makes. If you didn't love yourself before you will now.

 http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2m9f9s/m.wikihow.com/Take-a-Detox-Bath/

Fast food is a killer! If you don't believe it, just look back at yourself, friends, family, society. Do you eat out all the time? Look back 15, 20, 30 years ago. We were all more active at one point and some of us a lot skinnier, healthier, happier. Our country has turned into a land of convenience and we have all become lazier. Fast food was the way to refuel on the go and be able to continue. This is a really bad habit. OK, I get it so you love that Wendy's chicken sandwich or that burger from checkers. I admit it there are places I love, but its so very very bad for you. I have made it a point to stop eating out so much, and it does make me feel better.

The typical diet should include 2000 calories to maintain a healthy body weight. If you are a little over weight, you can adjust this but keep it healthy. Talk to your doctor or nutritionist before making any changes to assure that you make the correct choice. My Dr. advised me to keep it between 1800-2000 calories a day. You can join Weight Watcher online, follow Fat Loss for Idiots or simple modify your way of shopping. Greatest advice that I received from friends and they look great, " STOP SHOPPING IN THE MIDDLE ISLES!". Avoid all the boxed stuff, canned basically anything that is processed. I am still working on this but I am getting better. Have a cheat day 3 times a month and eat whatever you want, but the day after go back to your healthy eating and of course you need to exercise. When you feel healthier you will be able to love yourself more.  http://www.livestrong.com/article/263595-how-many-calories-do-i-need-per-meal/

Have fun! Be silly! Being serious all the time does not help anything at all and pretty much makes you hold everything inside. Be silly and let the stress out. Be adventurous and take a drive without using your GPS, just pick a direction and go. It doesn't have to be cross country but travel beyond your comfort zone. I always enjoy our random road trips, and we usually end up discovering something very cool. Have a game night, or a theme for every night of the week. Pick up silly costumes or hats and designate a day of the week. This is just another example on how to be happy and stress free. Stop worrying about what others might think and live. If people have something negative to say about your wacky, fun side they are just jealous!

Life is too short, so you have to be happy! This is the ultimate rule and will help you love yourself more. Be happy because somewhere in the world, someone has it way worse than you. Don't feel sorry for yourself. You think you hit bottom? So its time to climb back up and don't look back. Your mind can make you think things and before you know it, you feel what you think. STOP THAT! Read a book on positivity, cut the negative people from your life. Do something happy for you and surround yourself with happy positive people. Its been proven that the mind can make the body think its ill and this usually involves being depressed. Tell yourself your healthy and happy. Get out of bed, off that couch, drop that McDonald's cheeseburger. Go do something that makes you happy. If you keep telling yourself your sick, tired, etc then you will be. I refuse to be those things anymore and I feel better every day. No its not going to happen overnight but it will happen and you will begin to feel better. This will get yourself on track to a healthier, happier, more loving you! No I am not an expert, just someone who wanted and needed to love herself. So its all up to you, why not start today?

It all comes down to you.

Remembering Aunt Mary

On August 10th 2012 lost quite an amazing woman to cancer. I can't begin to tell you how ANGRY that makes me. Our family has had it pretty hard with this damn disease but I can tell you one thing its not breaking us down. My aunt was so very special, in every way. She was not wealthy but she had a heart of gold and to me that made her the richest woman in the world. She smiled every day, never complained, I never saw her angry ever and boy did she give great hugs and kisses.

How can a woman so amazing suffer from such a nasty disease? She held true to the end. I had just barely returned from my trip to California when I was informed that she was diagnosed and had 2-6 months depending on how fast the cancer spread. How could this be? I sat on my bed and I felt as if someone had shot me with a stun gun. With in the next few days I had called her, she had been very sick and it was hard to catch her feeling well enough to talk. When I finally got to speak with her I did all I could to hold in the tears. I still couldn't believe it but I told her how much she meant to me and how very much I loved her. She let me know she loved me too. That was the last time I spoke with her, but I am at peace knowing that I was able to let her know.

My aunt had a smile that could light up a room, a laugh that could cheer you up on the worst of days, and hugs that could melt your heart. She also was a carbon copy of my grandmother ( my mom's mother ). One memory of her that I hold so close to my heart is how I found out that my grandmother Virgie, on my fathers side had died. We had just moved back to West Virginia and we were over at my aunts house. I really wanted to see my grandma and sure I had been bugging my mother about it non stop. I know I had been called in the house and my aunt told me to come sit on her lap. She held me really close pointed at a photo hanging on the wall of my great grandparents. She asked me if I knew where they were and I said " Yes in heaven". I just remember her hugging me very close and she told me that my grandma was also now in heaven, that she had been very sick and had passed away.

To a kid in the 4th grade, it was hard to understand really what cancer was, but I knew I didn't like the word. I cried and she held me, rocking me in the chair, but I felt the love and comfort being with her. Now she is gone and no longer suffering. I can still hear her calling my name and laughing, " Janet Lee come here..." because I was always doing something silly, or falling down.


I have not felt this saddened since my uncle John was killed years ago, not that I was not sad for the passing of other family members, but there are some people that just are held a little closer to my heart. I hope that a cure for cancer will be found soon, but until then I will continue to donate to help find a cure.

 To my family I love you guys and my heart breaks that she is gone. And to my aunt Mary, your an amazing woman who I have always loved and will forever hold you in my heart. I love you! May you rest in peace!